When Henri Nouwen's book The Wounded Healer was published in 1979, it was met with a resounding “Yes!” from many clergy and candidates for ordination because it spoke to their conviction that they were not meant to be authorities dispensing doctrine and dogma but spiritual guides with deep empathy for their fellow wanderers in the faith journey.
Thirty years on, our cover story this month exposes the fresh wounds of the would-be healers: a survey of more than 300 Canadian ministers found a rate of clinical depression twice the national average. Close to half had sought help from counsellors or physicians for stress.
It would be easy to point a finger and blame the church for its unhealthy clergy. But that creates a them-and-us of clergy against lay people.
Besides, the church includes everyone, ordained and lay alike. (Ruling elders can fall on whichever side of the line they prefer!) The community as a whole chooses its ministers from among themselves. So where does it go wrong?
A Methodist pastor quoted in The New York Times put it this way: “It's a personality trait that accompanies the sense of divine calling,” he said. “You're feeding your need to be liked, your need to be valued, your need to be needed.”
What the minister is describing is a codependency: my need feeds your need and vice versa. It's all too common and quite unhealthy.
But that is just one part of the problem. At the time Nouwen was writing, urbanization had not yet reached the heights of today. Many clergy still found themselves among the few professionals in towns and villages where they served. They were expected to be on call 24/7. And, like most couples, their spouse was not employed outside the home.
Mainline churches were still relatively strong and full, and church growth was almost frowned on. Most of all, ministers were people who wanted to help and to care for others.
It's a different country today. Most people live in urban areas where they have access to professional psychologists and marriage counsellors. Furthermore, hospital chaplains (in combination with privacy legislation) mean congregational clergy do not have the same burden of care of a generation ago. And, like most others, clergy spouses are usually wage-earners.
Besides these demographic shifts, mainline churches are in varying degrees of decline. If congregations are to grow, they need ministers who have time to train congregational leaders and develop programs, to lead innovative worship teams and to deliver crisp, dynamic sermons that engage a well-educated but somewhat suspicious modern mind.
The problem is that “[t]he tendency of clergy, for the best of reasons, is to be self-effacing, to take care of others before taking care of yourself,” as another minister quoted in the Times article says. “You're the 'suffering servant,' you're the 'wounded healer.' It's hard to set boundaries.”
Those boundaries are hard for both parties. They are also crucial – and controversial. Even clergy bridle at them.
- Time off is not a perk. (How many people with Monday-Friday jobs are required to go in on Sunday?)
- Prayer and study time are not perks and not time off. Good sermons take time to prepare, and continuing education is as important in the church as in law or medicine.
- The minister's residence is a private home like anyone else's.
- Ministers who spend time visiting will not have time to lead a church to growth.
- Corollary of previous point: if pastoral visiting is required, elders and others need to pick up that duty if they want their church to grow.
- Ministers are not clinical counsellors; if ministers turn to professionals, so should others.
- Ministers cannot be best friends with members of the congregation.
- A 40-hour work-week means just that, including meetings, worship, visiting newcomers, funerals, weddings and every other duty expected of a minister, plus the preparation for all these.
Unless the expectations around boundaries and other issues are mutually agreed on, clergy will continue to be overstressed and consequently congregations will be underserved.
Jesus took time away from the crowds to refresh and to pray. Mere mortal clergy should follow his footsteps.
