I was raised Presbyterian, by faith – filled parents who planted the faith – seed in me. The seed did not take root or start to grow until much later in my life. Church to me growing up meant an organ, a choir, a bulletin that I drew on and a sermon I didn’t quite understand. An hour of religion; or in my case, distraction. I could tell you where everyone sat, followed the odd annoying fly or wasp, and always imagined what the choir members were wearing under their gowns.
I temporarily left the church as I focused on education, established a career, got married and started a family. After a decade of absence, I re – entered the church and, to my surprise, nothing had changed! I went outside the comfort zone and tried another church. I felt uncomfortable, but there was an attraction. Everything was alive. The music was different, but I liked it. Guitars, drums, keyboards and singers. The congregation was actually engaged with the songs. The message was relevant to me. It was multi – generational. Although this was totally different than what I was used to, I wanted more.
This reminds me of the quote from Donald Miller’s Blue Like Jazz: “I never liked jazz music because jazz music didn’t resolve. But I was outside the Bagdad Theatre in Portland one night, when I saw a man playing his saxophone. I stood there for 15 minutes, and he never opened his eyes. After that I liked jazz music. Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way.”
So there was a shift. My journey took up a new course to find this life. I didn’t understand at this point who that life was. I decided to make it a personal mission to make my church come alive. I tried to bring contemporary music into a Sunday night service. I started youth programs and coffee houses. I drove the leadership crazy with self – generated motives for resuscitation. The problem was, when it became about me and my agenda, things didn’t work out so well.
Then, I was invited to attend a worship conference. Again, during the worship, people were engaged. Some hands were raised, people were weeping, others were praying, and again I wanted that, but was fearful to come undone. At what cost would I let my neatly – put – together self engage freely with the fragrance of this worship? At that moment, the worship leader spoke this passage from Isaiah: “‘Woe to me,’ I cried. ‘I am ruined undone! For I am a man of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty.’ Then one of the seraphs flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. With it, he touched my mouth and said, ‘See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for.’ Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?’ I said, ‘Here am I. Send me!'”
I became undone. I stood in God’s Holy Presence, weeping and aware of my own sin. Vulnerable before God, but feeling covered by His grace. Jesus looking into my heart, and me connecting to his. I didn’t feel ashamed, but beautiful in this brokenness, and incredibly loved. I understood at that moment the grace, mercy, kindness and unconditional love of Jesus Christ.
Worship is all about the heart, and the condition of the heart as we approach worship. What I have found is that an open heart is ready to allow God to pour in, as we pour out. In other words: a heart – to – heart conversation with the living God. Jesus Christ is the life that brings worship alive, and by his spirit in us, he brings us alive to his presence. Anything connected to the heart is alive. A disconnect from the heart is dead. CPR: Christ’s Presence Resuscitates!
What is the heart condition of your church? How do you approach worship? Critical or accepting? Distracted or engaged? Close – minded or open? Apathetic or focused? Fearful or safe?
I have come to learn that leading worship is about leading God’s people into His presence. It is a ministry of the Holy Spirit through an attuned leader to position people for a vertical encounter with the Risen Christ. Sometimes we can lose this focus and become distracted with style of worship, the choice of music, choirs or no choirs. Culture will always be in transition. The style of worship adapts to the culture within the generation. Rams’ horns, lyres, harps, trumpet blasts, tambourines, choirs, organs, electric guitars, drums and pianos, and our voices are all instruments of praise … but, the heart of the matter should be—is our heart hungry for more of God’s Presence?
“You have made known to me the ways of life. You will make me full of joy in your presence.” (Acts 2:28)
