What is more joyous than the birth of a baby? Ironically, following this joyous event, congregations often neglect or even ignore children in the first six years of life. Small children are shuffled into nurseries — often poorly equipped — because they make noise. 'Teaching' of small children often consists of a haphazard and random list of volunteers. Yet these early years are incredibly important. Physical, emotional, mental, social and spiritual achievements are enormous in the first six years.
Children have much to contribute to our congregational life. One day, during the children's story time in worship, a minister reminded the children that each of them has an important part to play in the life of the church. Afterwards, a seven-year-old went to the minister and said, "I don't think that is right. Look at my baby brother," she said, pointing to the baby in her mother's arms. "He can't do anything for the church."
"Ah," the minister said, bending down to speak directly to the little girl. "Your little brother can do something that no one else in this congregation has been able to do this year. There is an old man who sits behind your mother and baby brother in church. He is very sad because his wife died. When your baby brother peeks over your Mom's shoulder, I see that man smile. No one else can make him smile."
Children are just as important as people of other ages. It is easy to dismiss this point as obvious. However, ask yourself this: does our church invest as much time and energy in preschool programs and facilities as it does in those for youth? A helpful exercise in this regard is to look over your church budget and note how much money is spent on programming and resources for individual age groups. Having a poorly equipped nursery (where preschoolers do their 'work') is like asking the adults in your church to cater meals without a dishwasher or pots and pans.
Children are like sponges in their first six years. At an incredible speed, they soak up all types of things. In three short years a child develops a vocabulary of a thousand words and can comprehend about ten thousand words. In three years, literally trillions of connections have been formed between brain neurons. This is such an active time for brains that scientists tell us a three-year-old has more neuron synapse activity than his/her pediatrician. We have only to meet a three-year-old for a short time until we remember how many times young children can ask the question, "Why?" Their curiousity and learning knows no bounds, so we need to give preschoolers lots of opportunity to learn.
Jesus took children seriously. In the Middle East of 2000 years ago, children were desired but seen as possessions. That Jesus would use children as an example, take them on his knee and heal them, is another example of Jesus explaining the Kingdom of Heaven by topsy-turvy. The strong shall be weak and the weak shall be strong. In his book, The Family Story Bible, Ralph Milton portrays Jesus cuddling a child and saying, "Look at this child. This child doesn't know who I am. But the child can feel my love. And so the child trusts me. That's what God's Shalom is like."
We take young children seriously because they are naturally spiritual. In her book The Religious Potential of the Child, Sofia Cavalletti claims that early childhood is primarily a time of serene enjoyment of God. This may come as a surprise to those of us who have been raised to believe that the tranquil growth of which Cavalletti speaks comes with maturity of age. Based on her work with hundreds of children around the world, Cavalletti observes that, while they cannot express it verbally, children as young as 18 months experience a mysterious bond between God and themselves. This bond, she says, "exists in early childhood even in cases of spiritual 'malnutrition' and appears to precede any religious instruction whatsoever." She recounts dozens of stories of small children being moved to tears at the beauty of a sanctuary or atrium or the mystery of a Bible story.
Every 'task' that children perform in the first six years is one that forms the basis for a life of faith. From the time a child is born, she begins to 'learn' trust. The baby knows that crying brings a change of diaper, a breast or bottle, a cuddle. How is this a 'religious task?' Theologian James Loder says that, from early infancy, a child seeks to respond to the presence of other humans. What is established is "the child's sense of personhood and a universal prototype of the Divine Presence," a growing awareness in the child that he is born in the image of God. Learning faith, hope, trust and love is much more than a psychological wellness task.
What churches can do
Congregations must respond to the first six years in the lives of their youngest parishioners. Here are some ideas.
- Provide support for parents/grandparents. Offer a parenting course in your congregation, ecumenically or community-wide. Many young parents have grown up in small families and have had little experience with small children. They have a steep learning curve. Marian Crockford, who works with a program called Babies Best Start in Toronto, Ont., says that one of the most challenging things is that young parents do not understand how to provide good nutrition for their child. As incredible as it may seem, many young parents do not, for instance, distinguish between the nutritional value of cheesies and cheese. Many young parents are hungry for the type of guidance and support that can be found in a parenting support group.
- It is important to provide good educational resources for preschoolers. Provide curriculum that focuses on play, music, exploration, mystery. The recommended Presbyterian Church in Canada Sunday school resources for pre-schoolers are listed on an annual curriculum chart produced by the Education in the Faith department at church offices.
- Even if there are no or few preschoolers in your congregation, prepare and staff a nursery and pre-school rooms. You want to express to the congregation and community, "We value young children and we are ready to receive them." Recently, I noted with sadness, a young mother who took her baby to the unstaffed church nursery. Not only was the young mother deprived of a quiet spiritual time for herself, but also the congregational members were deprived of the opportunity to share in the faith nurturing of a little child.
- Modern parents and grandparents want choices regarding how their small children will be involved in the church. At a former church, we discovered this quite accidentally. One Sunday, as part of a drama, we used a rocking chair and teddy bears. Out of sheer carelessness, we left them sitting at the back of the church till the following Sunday. A young mother stayed in the sanctuary rocking her baby and cuddling a teddy bear rather than take the child to the nursery. After that, we decided to remove the back seat and add several more rocking chairs, soft toys and bears. Within a few months about half the parents and grandparents were staying with their child in the worship area while those who needed spiritual quiet were taking their child to the well-equipped, nearby nursery.
- It is important for churches to remember that a child's work is play. Through play, children learn to love and share. Their vocabulary grows. Their muscles expand. Providing good safe play equipment is not an option. It is a necessity. Often adults are eager and willing to donate good indoor and outdoor play equipment in the name of a deceased loved one, especially if the loved one was a champion of children.
A little boy, hearing that his beloved baby sister needed a blood transfusion, was asked if he would give blood to help his sister become healthy. He was sober and hesitated. Finally, he said no. Later, he returned to his parents and agreed. They asked him what made him change his mind. In the conversation that ensued, the parents realized that the little boy had misunderstood. He thought that, by giving blood, he himself would die. With a little time, he concluded that he was capable of doing that for his sister. While we must not romanticize children, we must also remember that small children are capable of brave and heroic deeds in the Kingdom of Heaven. Not much wonder Jesus said to us, "Unless you can be like a child, you will not be part of God's Kingdom."
Resources
- Opening your child's nine learning windows, Cheri Fuller, Zondervan, 1999
- The religious potential of the child, Sofia Cavalletti, Liturgy Training Publication, 1992
In May, 2004, The Presbyterian Church in Canada sponsored a "First Six Years Conference" in Moncton, N.B. Photos from this conference may be seen at www.presbyterian.ca under Christian Education/Programs and Events.
