This past year I completed a survey of 240 young adults who grew up in the church. The survey was a result of curiosity and concern. Since 1984, we have lost approximately 10,000 children from our Sunday schools each decade.
Is it just demographics? Or, do we need to be more self-critical and self-aware of how we "do" faith development and nurture our children? Is Sunday school a thing of the past? Why not ask young adults who have recently "graduated" from our Sunday schools and youth programs?
I interviewed them about their childhood memories of church. Here are their thoughts:
- The young adults said, "Please … do something about worship."
They didn't much care for their worship experiences as children and, even though some of them express comfort in currently participating in the familiar patterns of worship, they long for variety and flexibility. In fact, they indicated that they "vote with their feet," and simply go to other churches to have this need satisfied from time to time. In general, the young adults express impatience with our worship and long for something more experiential and participatory.
- They said, "My family was the primary influence on my faith journey."
The fact that 98 per cent of the respondents said that family members were responsible for helping them attend church speaks volumes about the important role of family support.
- They said, "We liked Sunday school … but please improve it."
- Sunday school should not be the only or the main activity at church
- We want active learning
- Sunday school teachers/leaders need to be well trained
- Continuity of teachers is important
- They said, "There are many paths … many roads to Christian faith."
The young adults provided a long list by which they entered into the Christian life. This reminds older adults that there is no one way to the life of faith. It would be easier if there were! The list of items tells us that children come to faith through camping, through singing, through relationships, through drama and dance, through making something creative with their hands.
- They said, "We want to be 'adopted children' of the congregation."
If children and youth are to be an important part of the congregation, they want to feel like an adopted child or grandchild. They want to be included in a meaningful way in just about every aspect of church life. They want to be known by name.
- They said, "Don't judge or squelch our spiritual questions."
The young adults made it very clear that they want to feel it is okay to continue asking probing and searching questions about their faith. The young people of today will probably never arrive in their spiritual quest. As one girl put it, "We are just marching along through life."
- They said, "Please … be open and adaptable."
- Churches are afraid to try new things, even simple things like opening the doors of their buildings (female, age 24)
- The church's resistance to change pushes young people away (female, age 19)
- The music in most churches is a good example of trying to hold on to the old ways and not adapting (male, age 26)
- I dislike the church's reluctance to adapt… to not accept homosexuality, and other religions (male, age 21)
- They said, "Please understand that we have not been raised in the same era as you older adults."
There is one thing that we simply must not do. We should not and cannot blame our youth for being a product of the culture that we helped to create. Older adults were raised in the time of modernism, but the young people in our churches are born into an era of post-modernity. Their worldview is different and we need to understand the differences in order to communicate well.
- They said, "As children, relationships to adults, particularly the minister and minister's spouse, were important."
In total, of all the important people to children, 82 per cent of them were adults. As children, 39 per cent of the respondents said that ministers and their spouse were important to their faith development. It is both rewarding and humbling for pastors to hear that 12 of the 14 young adults in the second set of interviews would turn to them if they had a troubling question of faith.
- They said, "Please … give us a chance to do meaningful service."
If there is one dramatic thing we learn from the young adults it is that they simply were not given enough meaningful ways to serve and make a difference in the world when they were children and teens.
- They said, "Please hold on to the church's core values … even if we can't agree on what they are."
- There should be some core values — kindness, respect, but each group can have a different slant. (male, age 20)
- People have different points of view, but there are some things that are basic — belief in Jesus as God and the Bible (female, age 20)
- Christians should have some concepts in common — like grace and truth, but in real life there is room to differ (female, age 24)
- They said, "Be stronger leaders."
Some people in our congregations have to create the climate where children are included, respected and involved. These things do not magically happen.
- They said, "Communicate … communicate … communicate."
Many young adults expressed a desire to have honest, open conversations with older adults. This may surprise some older adults who think that young adults have "better things to do" than to talk with them:
- It is important for ministers and church people to understand the world in which people live so they can speak to it. (male, age 24)
- The church has stayed in the medieval and dark ages and emphasized the old stories of the Bible; the church needs to find ways to express Christian truth in new ways like using Star Wars. (male, age 22)
- We need far better communication between denominations. (female, age 23)
- They said, "Believe it or not, church is part of my social life."
Having Christian friends seems an important factor in helping young adults stay engaged with the church.
- They said, "We don't know our stories."
One of the surprises in the survey was how little the young adults knew of their own family story and history. If they did not know their family story, had they also lost the biblical story?
- They said, "We want to be part of a 'reaching out' church."
Congregations which are actively reaching out to new people have a profound effect on children and young adults. A group of young adults who have remained active in the church, described their congregation as very or quite active in reaching out to new people, and they were proud of this.
- They said, "Going to church is a habit … a good habit."
- Church has always been a part of my life, and I can't imagine it not being there (female, age 18)
- Church was always just a part of who I was and what I did;
- I never really questioned it or fought it (male, age 22)
- I think attending church has to do with my upbringing. I never once thought about not attending. It is at this time in my life that I'm very thankful (female, age 18)
This is a much-shortened version of the full survey.
A full version with study questions will be published soon. If extra resources are needed for any of the topics in the survey, contact the Education in the Faith department at church offices.
