‘Reckless words pierce like a sword’ – Proverbs 12:18
One September I spoke at a golf tournament, so as always, I invited someone along. That someone was Jeffrey, my grinning 12-year-old, blessed with an infectious laugh, but little interest in the game of golf. Golf is boring, he thinks. Discouraging. He would rather eat cabbage ice cream. “We’ll throw in your brother’s clubs,” I told him, “but you don’t have to golf. You can drive the cart and laugh at my shots.” He seemed okay with that. After all, a trip with dad spells restaurants and hotels and waterslides to a boy his age. He can tolerate a game of golf for such rewards.
Upon arriving, we were introduced to the other members of our foursome, Jim and Neil, two of the kindest guys I’ve ever met. When they discovered Jeffrey’s intentions, they were disappointed. “Golf with us,” pleaded Jim, bowing on one knee and extending a hand, “we need you.” “I’ll buy you a pop and hamburger for lunch,” promised Neil. Perhaps it was the hamburger that beckoned louder than the golf course, but soon Jeffrey found himself on the first tee, addressing the ball and surprising us all with a straight shot about 100 yards down the fairway.
“Tiger!” said Jim. “You swing just like Tiger Woods!”
Jeffrey was grinning.
The tournament was a best ball format. From the first tee, my ball sailed 200 yards but found a bunker. Jim and Neil were less fortunate. Guess whose ball we used? You’re right. It was Tiger’s.
Together the four of us managed to finish just under par that day, but Tiger doesn’t remember the score. He remembers two middle-aged guys who were his biggest fans for 18 holes. “That’s okay,” they’d say, when he duffed one. “Here, hit mine.” And when the ball skimmed the grass, causing squirrels to scatter, they’d pat him on the back and say, “You’re somethin’ Tiger!”
Nearing home the next day, we passed the Three Hills Golf Club two miles west of town. “Dad,” said Jeffrey, “let’s go golfing.” And a smile tugged at my face. Thanks to Jim and Neil, it was the first time in his life the boy had spoken those words.
The tongue can pack a wallop, can’t it? A well-placed word can restore confidence, give purpose and renew hope. It can uplift, nourish and mend. Proverbs 16:24 says, “Kind words are like honey — sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.” But our words also have the power to devastate. A few inconsiderate ones can cripple the spirit of a child, a spouse or a friend. Proverbs 12:18 states “reckless words pierce like a sword.”
If you’re old like me, you may remember Karen Carpenter, part of the sibling duo, The Carpenters. They had more hits in the ’70s than baseball player Pete Rose. Karen died unexpectedly of heart failure at age 32 after a long struggle with anorexia nervosa. USA Today reported that Karen’s fatal obsession with weight control began when she read a reviewer’s simple comment. He dubbed her “Richard’s chubby sister.”
Yes, there is a time for speaking up and confronting. Such words when mixed with love can help us grow. But far more often our words need to be like those of my new friends Jim and Neil, reflecting God’s love for us.
Every conversation is an opportunity. A chance to encourage or discourage, affirm the positive or dwell on the negative, celebrate victories or rehash failures, draw people to Christ or push them away. Neil and Jim may never know the impact they had on my son by choosing the former. You may never know the eternal impact you make when you choose your words prayerfully and carefully.
Diamonds aren’t forever, but a few choice words may be. Just ask my son, Tiger.
