Photos by Abel Pandy
An abused wife. A drug-addicted teen. A homeless man. A just-arrived immigrant. A troubled child. All of these and many, many more live, sleep, and suffer in Toronto and its outlying areas. Their lives are dotted with difficulty, marred by sorrow, and branded with pain. If you never visit the city, or simply don't know where to look, you might not even know that so many ministries exist to serve these forgotten people. You also mightn't know that a good number of these missions are sponsored in one way or another by devoted Presbyterians hoping to make even a small difference in the lives of others. The missions themselves are making more than a small difference; they are one by one changing the lives of the people who walk through their doors every day. Whether it's offering a warm meal, new toys for a Christmas treat, support and guidance to new Canadians, a bed to sleep on, mentoring and modeling positive behaviour, or resources in a time of crisis, the services offered are crucial and invaluable, and truly follow Christ's call to not only serve the needy, the poor, the sick and the hungry, but to love one another, as He indeed loves us.
What follows are excerpts from interviews with people who have frequented these six ministries, and have been touched by the love they have received there.
Ana
28, mother of two
Armagh Housing for Abused Woman
“I had been looking into shelters for awhile. It was just time to go.”
“I have an abusive husband. I've been married about five years. It got bad about six months into it. We knew each other six months before getting married.”
“After my second son was born, I enrolled in an upgrading program at college. I grew more confident, and realized I could make it.”
“When I went to the shelter, I didn't tell my kids until into the night that we weren't going home.”
“It's quieter here. There's a sense that this is where I belong. I knew that when I first saw the apartment.”
“Armagh has given me an ability to focus on myself versus the abuse; to focus on what's good and what's right.”
“The first thing I noticed with my kids is that they've settled. A shelter is a hard environment. There's lots of people around.”
“You do things for yourself here, which is good, because it empowers us.”
“If not for Armagh? That's a scary thought. I'd probably still be waiting for housing. It would be hard to get by. It would be a very different situation.”
“It's difficult, because no matter what, he's still their dad. They didn't see the abuse so it's hard for them to understand why we left.”
“My hope for them is that they come out ok in the end. That they're happy – whatever that is for them.”
“I've become very independent. I can't picture myself with anyone else right now. I have to make it on my own before relying on others – and I'm not there yet.”
“Being here has been a really good experience. It's been a deterrent to reach out to my husband for help. It's given me time to focus on myself. It's just a good place.”
Ana was at a women's shelter for three months before coming to Armagh last November. Born in Portugal, she is now at college studying social work.
Armagh was originally established as a home for unwed mothers, and took its current form in 1991. It is nestled among enormous Maples and Weeping Willows, on a quiet suburban Mississauga street. It offers second-stage supportive housing for abused women and their children, along with individual and group counselling and referrals to outside agencies where applicable. Armagh serves about 30 women and 70 children each year. It is supported by the Region of Peel, churches, the local community, and limited funds from the provincial government. At one time it was supported by the PCC through the Board of World Mission. Today, members from the Presbyteries of Brampton and East and West Toronto sit on its board of directors.
Jamal
21
Evergreen Centre for Street Youth
“I went through a lot of stuff. I was on the street for three months. Then I was in a shelter. That's where I am now. I moved out when I was 16. Family problems. I had my own place. Then I left. Then I stayed with friends. And then I left. And now I'm in a shelter.”
“My mom is from the Philippines. I was born there too. We moved here when I was nine. Mom couldn't accept the way I was growing up. She grew up in a different society. It was different than here. She wanted me in a box. There were too many barriers. I prefer to live life to the fullest.”
“I want to own my own business in advertising or computer graphics.”
“My friends would say I'm a good guy. Trustworthy, open, can fit in easily. I don't take sides. I can mix with anyone. That's why I got the job here. I can mediate between conflicting people and interests.”
“I've already made contacts here. They gave me information on getting into advertising. I'm looking forward to it. I've been in many other programs. This is by far the best. I've met new people, and have learned new things.”
Jamal works in Evergreen's drop-in centre where he talks to the youth and listens to their problems.
Reji
21, street youth,
Evergreen Centre for Street Youth
“I was sleeping on a park bench near Roy Thompson Hall.”
“My aunt took me as a baby from my mom, who was into drugs and alcohol. My aunt brought me to Canada, but she abused me. Treated me like a slave. I started running away when I was 10 years old. Children's Aid was called. I became a Crown ward. I ran away a lot. At 18, I left Children's Aid. I figured I could live on my own. I stayed on the streets. At 19 I got my first apartment. I had to grow up quick. I've been through lots.”
“Then I came here. I fit in here. I've built a family. I enjoy the staff. I love them! They're really good.”
“I've had odd jobs. But now, no job, little money, no apartment. So I live on the streets. That's where I am now.”
“Evergreen is good for me. I know I can come here and there's people I can see if I've had a bad day, or if I need someone to talk to or comfort me. I came here for the love. They're my family.”
“I took to the streets when I was very young. I saw things no one else has. The mentality is very different.”
“The streets are dangerous, but I see it as a playground. I don't like danger or problems. I'm a peacemaker. I try to solve problems.”
“When I was 16 or so, I was a bad kid. I got into lots of fights. When I was 17 I calmed down. I was charged with attempted murder, but it was self defense. I know what I did, and I learned from it. I don't want to go to jail. What I did is what I did, but it's in the past.”
“My friends would say I'm a joker; that I'm a fun guy. I don't create problems. But I also have a temper. That's from before.”
“I want to be an actor and an Oscar winner!”
Reji now works at Evergreen, helping other youth find jobs, and get their lives back on track.
Pac
24, former street youth,
Evergreen Centre for Street Youth
“I had an appointment here for the job search program, and my eyes were opened greatly.”
“I would come downtown all the time, but I barely knew that Regent Park was right next door.”
“I was kicked out of my house. I thought I'd be here for a couple of months and leave, but I saw the extent of people living at the bottom of Toronto; how low they were allowed to get to. It bothered me greatly. I had to learn what contributed to that.”
“I saw young people sleeping on the ground, and I thought, 'How did they get here?' People look down on them, think they're dirty. With all the missions around here, how do people fall through the cracks?”
“It's given me a strong will; I'm not going to go that far down.”
“The people I met here became my family.”
“I came into contact with my own faith in August. I came to know Christ.”
“You need Jesus. That's all.”
“Lots of things led me here. I couldn't trust anybody. I hit bottom. I had nowhere to go, and needed money. I had no one else, and I found God.”
“People have a lack of vision. That's why people are allowed to live so poorly. It becomes really frustrating when people can't see down the road.”
“If there was no Evergreen, I would have a limited view of the city and the world. If my faith wasn't there, I would have got into other things. I would have spent time in prison謡ho knows? This place has saved me.”
“Poverty isn't just a black thing. The same thing happens to everyone, regardless of race, age, or background. If you put them in the same situation, the same thing is going to happen.”
“I'm interested in international business development and history. I also like music and politics. I want to eventually have the power to make decisions that will change the way the situation goes. We allow things to take place that shouldn't.”
“We have to look at street politics and ask what's happening. And people have to step up and take control of their communities. I see a lot of complacency and a lack of will. It's frustrating. But there are great opportunities. If you have people who know what they're doing, we can make a difference.”
Pac is a native of Chicago. He now lives with his family in a Toronto suburb, and just began studying at Tyndale University and Seminary. He is also now working at Evergreen.
Eleanor
62, volunteer,
Evangel Hall
“This building is a miracle building. When you walk in the door, you feel love and you feel the peace here. The staff goes the extra mile. It's a busy place, but it does a lot of good.”
“I knew a woman who came here. I thought it was just a drop-in centre. But no. It's more than that. People care here. It comes from the heart. They care for every person who walks through that door. You don't get that at every drop-in. There's something special at Evangel Hall.”
“I started drinking from a very young age. We used to go into the bush up north and drink moonshine. When you drink, there's lots of action; fighting and violence. I always wanted something.”
“I took dad's car once and drove to Toronto. I needed money, so I put the car up in a poker game. I won the hand, won the car and won $4,000. I was gone for a week, and then I went back. Dad was a big shot in town. He threatened to take me to reform school. He never did. He took me to church instead. I spoke with the minister. He told me I broke the commandments. They put the idea of God into me. I had a deal with God: He wasn't going to ask me for anything and I wouldn't bother Him.”
“At a quarter to three in the morning in 2000, God came to me. Holy mackerel! I heard, 'That's enough!' It was so powerful, but there was a lot of love. That was it. My life changed after that. I had a bet on a knife fight that night. But I never went.”
“I was ready to commit suicide. I had a gun. You can rent a gun downtown for $300.”
“I went to anger management. It taught me to focus elsewhere. So I started focusing on Jesus. I realized that if I wanted forgiveness from God, I have to forgive others.”
“I've lost interest in drinking. I don't need it. I don't want it.”
“This is a miracle building. This is God's place. This land used to be a salvage yard. It was junk.”
“The Bible speaks of compassion, but to read it and see it are two different things. When you're around solid Christian people, it's contagious. You see what they do and you follow. You pick up their habits. What they do, you do. Everything the Bible teaches is here.”
“Here it's different. It's real. It's Christ-like. You can feel the presence of the Lord here. This building is a blessing. God saved it the whole way. There was trouble laying the foundation. It was problem after problem. We'd pray for the building and it would get back on track. Now people are off the street and out of cockroach-infested buildings.”
“I help with the Out of the Cold program. It breaks my heart. I see the same people I knew years ago. They still haven't changed. It's terrible.”
“What Jesus did for me, I can give to others because he's given to me first. He's given me the staff here. So this is my appreciation; a way to say thank you. I just follow Christ's way. Or I just watch the staff and do what they do.”
“If it hadn't been for Evangel? I'd be dead. Well, I was dead. I was just too stupid to lie down.”
“So far I'm doing ok, but as soon as I get out of bed, I pray. I say that I will need a lot of help. I trust you, but don't trust me. Take my hand and put me where you want me to be. Thank you, Jesus. Amen.”
“I teach people to ask for forgiveness from God. I ask for it all the time. And then I meet beautiful people.”
“I was never a follower. Even as a kid. I was a leader. I could get anyone to do anything.”
“If it wasn't for the Cross, I'd be dead. Someone would have killed me.”
“This hall has saved a lot of people, that's for sure.”
Eleanor is a committed volunteer at Evangel Hall, helping whenever and wherever she is needed. She even gets called down to the police station to talk and pray with people who have been arrested.
Established more than 90 years ago by the Presbyterian Church in Canada, Evangel Hall recently relocated to a brand new Toronto location and now offers apartments to clients committed to changing their lives. The Hall also offers a thrift shop, counselling, advocacy, men, women's and youth programs, health care, Out of the Cold, community dinners, housing assistance, volunteer opportunities, and Sunday worship.
Juliet
49, single mom,
Stonegate Community Ecumenical Ministry
“It was the best thing that ever happened. When you're stressed and depleted, you come here, and you leave feeling energized again.”
“I used to lack confidence in speaking in groups. I use to be uncomfortable. Now I'm learning not to fear, knowing that I won't be judged and that I am accepted for myself.”
“My passion and goal is counselling. It's always been a dream of mine. In five years, I hope to be a relationship counselor. My other passion is acting.”
“I'm sort of a go-getter.”
“When I came to Stonegate's women's group, I found it fulfilling and inspiring. The people here are diverse, so you learn about different countries and cultures.”
“I was raised Pentecostal in Jamaica, but as a child, I was always searching for something. I left the church in 1983, and two years ago, I came back to Christianity. It feels great. I found myself again.”
“Women need to connect with each other. We need a safe place to connect. It's so helpful, and we share so much. You get inspired, motivated, and you take that energy with you. That's so important as a single mom. We pray for one another too.”
“It's a place where if you really want to find yourself, be at peace, and connect with other women on a higher level, this is the place to come. It's a wonderful place.”
Juliet has been going to Stonegate for two years, and was so affected by the women's program that she now helps lead it. She attends St. Andrew's Presbyterian in Streetsville.
Stonegate is located in Etobicoke and serves the 11,000 people living in the community's 79 apartment buildings. They offer a second-hand clothing store, volunteer opportunities, advocacy, counselling, women's groups, prayer groups, a yearly gospel concert, and community development. They're supported mainly by a family of six community churches, including Mimico Presbyterian, who joined together in 1991 to create the ministry.
Rene
36, single mother of two,
The Scott Mission
“I like getting away from the daily grind of the city, and spending time away from the TV with my daughter. And just hearing that God loves me. That's the message we get during daily Bible studies.”
“We lived in a ghetto, so getting my daughter away from that environment was great. When the poor don't have an option, you go where the rent is cheap.”
“[Growing up], religion was used more to abuse me than teach me.”
“Camp was the only place I was hearing about God. For years I didn't go to church.”
“Coming here in the last two years especially, there have been changes in me. Just hearing the message of God helped build my self esteem. I've been on disability since my daughter was two, now I'm trying to get back out there and look for work.”
“The spiritual support is the biggest benefit for me. It helped me rebuild my self esteem, and make plans for my life.”
“It sparked that part of me to live again.”
“It's a little scary, but I'll give it a chance. I've heard enough positive things lately that I'm not anxious anymore.”
“My goals? To be out there, support my kids, get off the system. And to encourage other people who are poor that there is hope; there are alternatives.”
“My parents came with me to Canada, but they were like strangers. I had an alcoholic father, my parents eventually divorced. I was forced to live with my father. It was hard to see where my life was going in all that turmoil.”
“I know if I need to speak to somebody, there's always someone to listen. If I'm having a rough day, I can pick up the phone and just vent. I know I'm not alone.”
“I love coming here. There's an atmosphere of love and acceptance no matter who you are. There's a sense of security; that I'll be alright despite the odds against me.”
“They talk about miracles happening all the time around here. And in my life, that's what this is. A miracle was sparked here, and it just snowballed.”
“God has a plan for you. You can do these things.”
Rene started coming to Scott Mission because of the family camps they offer every summer. She has been on disability due to Fibromyalgia, which causes chronic pain, and a mood disorder. She is a native of South Africa. She is now doing various carefully chosen jobs to get back into the market. She also coordinates and teaches Sunday school at her church, and travelled to Montreal last year for a church conference.
The Scott Mission was established in 1941 as a non-denominational Christian ministry in downtown Toronto. It now serves men, women, children and families through daily hot meals, emergency groceries, overnight beds, Christmas hampers and toys, low-cost daycare, a clothing bank, after-school programs, immigrant orientation, summer camp, and women's groups. It is supported by individuals, businesses and foundations, with less than 10 percent of revenues coming from the government.
Jesse
16, with Mom,
Fernie House Child & Youth Services
“I'm getting better at controlling my anger. That's why I got to leave Fernie House.”
“If I hadn't come here, I wouldn't be going to school, I'm sure of that. I'd possibly be in jail or at a treatment centre.”
“My friends would say I'm nice. And that I'm a great cook! Jelly rolls are my specialty.”
“I had some friends over once and cooked steaks, pork chops, fettuccine alfredo, and broccoli and cheese sauce.”
“I love boats, travelling and cooking. I want to be a cook on a cruise ship! I'm also good with my hands. I might like to fix cars or bikes.”
“I went to camp Borden for six weeks last summer. I was up from 6 a.m. to 11 p.m. doing drills. I learned a lot. I have a lot of friends now.”
“Now I'm an army cadet. I'm a master corporal.”
“Fernie House has made my life straight.”
Jesse lived at Fernie House for 10 months. His learning disabilities and behavioural problems made him lash out violently. He tried to commit suicide in grade 4. He is now back in high school after learning to control his anger and will receive special attention tailored to his needs.
Fernie House, established in 1964 by the PCC, operates six homes in Toronto and Pickering for girls between the ages of seven and 12, and boys between seven and 17 years. Up to 47 youth can live in the homes at any given time. They may have behavioural or family problems, been charged with a crime, or are waiting for a court hearing. Fernie House also offers day treatment, family support, and transitional support services. It is supported by the Ministry of Children and Youth Services, congregations and individuals, and is under the oversight of the Presbyteries of East Toronto and Pickering.
Kevin
11,
Fernie House Child & Youth Services
“My mom said it's not because I'm being bad, but she needs a break.”
“I have two brothers. They're both younger than me. Sometimes we get along, but sometimes they get snippy. It makes me want to be mean and get angry.”
“I've had to learn how to control my anger. I've tried to learn that. But it's hard.”
“I didn't used to get along with my brothers. But I would try to settle fights between them. I used to get into fights with people at school.”
“But now I'm learning to use my anger plan.”
“I can walk away, blast music, use the punching bag, draw pictures or punch pillows.”
“Basketball is my favourite. I also like soccer. And I like playing with my Gameboy.”
“I want to be a veterinarian. Or maybe a scientist.”
“I'll remember a Halloween party we had here once. It was really fun.”
Kevin has come a long way after spending two years at Fernie House. He now lives with his grandparents.
Danica
19,
Evergreen Centre for Street Youth
“I started coming here about a year ago. I came for the meal program, the employment centre, and housing, and to help sort things out, and to ask questions.”
“I had just moved to Toronto. I didn't know where else to go.”
“Everybody here is so positive. The staff makes me feel comfortable. They're more like friends than anything.”
“I have a lot of theatre experience. I moved down here to go to a theatre program. It didn't work out. I'm also a magician, and I want to teach others. It's kind of a bug. Once you're bitten, it's part of your life.”
“I mostly do card tricks, and I'm learning stuff with everyday objects. There's a part of me that's a performer, so magic really speaks to that.”
“I've always been confident. I took dancing since I was five. It gets under your skin. I can't explain it.”
“I think of life as acting. People are not themselves. They're a character; a mask. But everyone inside is the same. Everyone has a struggle.”
“I've had it a lot easier than a lot of these kids [at Evergreen]. I've never had to live in a shelter. But I had struggles at home like any other kid.”
“I have a strong need to help people. This is something I feel I need to be doing.”
“I couldn't keep other jobs, but here, if I'm helping other people, I don't think of myself. I think of how I can help them. There are other things in this world besides me.”
“I'm a huge animal person. I'm a vegan. I want to start a program with animals and youth. You can't go to a shelter if you have a dog, so I want to address that.”
“My friends would probably say I'm caring, have a lot of energy, I'd do anything to help them, that I do as much as I can for people. It's easy to get caught up in the world and lose yourself. So I'm working on that.”
“I hope to stay in Toronto, but I have big plans for myself. Others may not have a voice, but I want to have an impact on the world. There are so many problems in the world, and I want to change that.”
Danica moved to Toronto from the North Bay-area about two years ago. She is now a peer housing mentor at Evergreen.
Matt
20,
Evergreen Centre for Street Youth
“I'm from Poland, but I grew up in Mississauga. But I've been everywhere.”
“I came to Canada with my two brothers and my mom. She remarried, but he tried to kill her, so she went to a shelter. Then there was a new guy, but they didn't get along. So I've been on my own since I was 15. I've been on the streets mostly since then.”
“I just finished high school. I'm waiting for the certificate. I want to show my mom. I'm the first to do it.”
“I hope to have my own restaurant. I want to be a chef. I make pasta, grilled chicken, and steak. And breakfast is my specialty!”
“My friends would say I'm a pretty good guy. I never cause problems. I get along with everybody.”
Matt now works in the kitchen at Evergreen. He is also training to be a chef at Humber College.
Run by Rev. Karen Bach, a Presbyterian, Evergreen is part of the Yonge Street Mission located in downtown Toronto. They serve about 8,000 16-24-year-olds each year by offering food, clothing, showers, art programs, health care, employment support, housing help, nursery care for children, a lawyer, mental, emotional and addictions counselling, and a safe place where youth can spend time together off the street. They are supported by private donors, churches, corporations and foundations.
