Reconciliation: Grand Chief Ron Evans called it a “journey we have to take” in his welcome to those gathered at the Remembering the Children event at the Forks Market in Winnipeg. Comparing reconciliation between the church and First Nations people to a journey did not surprise me, realizing it was a journey I myself have to take. I was prepared for polished presentations from church and aboriginal dignitaries signifying their willingness to cooperate with each other. As the Gaudry Boys opened the evening with fiddling, I settled into my chair prepared to observe the production with polite detachment.
What I was unprepared for was the raw humanity of the event. One of the speakers, Ken Young, had to leave early because he received a phone call that his brother, also a residential school survivor, had died that day. He wanted to share his message before he left. Another speaker hadn't been on the program at all. She held up a feather, walked to the front, and began speaking of the horrific spiritual and physical abuse she had endured. There was no question of politely asking her to sit down. Eventually, someone gave her a microphone. “We went through hell,” she stated, “but we survived. I intend to be a survivor. I will never forget. I will forgive, but I will never forget.” When the Primate of the Anglican Church was speaking, a woman five feet away from me stood up and began yelling that the church leaders were uttering lies. I found her language shocking at a church event – but it was a powerful and truthful moment, as we witnessed the depths of her pain. Honourable Elijah Harper, who took the stage with his son-in-law and two-month-old grandson, was unable to speak for several minutes, his voice faltering after saying, “It's hard.” He spoke about his grandson and, he spoke less like a politician and more like a prophet.
Harper spoke of the necessity of forgiveness, which he considers “the greatest thing you can do for your people and for our children.” Part of forgiveness is an acknowledgement of wrongdoing. Explaining the importance of an official apology from the Government of Canada, Harper, who identifies himself as a Christian, compared himself to Moses before Pharaoh, saying, “Release my people … from that bondage so we can heal.”
Ted Quewezance, executive director of the National Residential School Survivors' Society, spoke of the hurt of being shunned and shamed by his community, even his own children, when he first spoke out about the sexual abuse he experienced. Quewezance, who said with great feeling that “there is such a thing as forgiveness,” stated that he could relate to those who expressed anger toward the church. He commented that “many people tell us to forget, forgive, heal,” but that the decision to set out on the path of forgiveness is up to each individual. Survivors are at many different stages in their journeys: “Some are bitter, some are happy, some are watching and waiting,” and “many cannot attend such functions.”
On behalf of the churches, the church leaders acknowledged our sin and asked for forgiveness at this event. We saw that apology both angrily rejected and lovingly accepted. Quewezance affirmed that it is different “to hear a person give an apology than to see it in writing.” It is hard to forgive a faceless institution.
To hear the stories of a handful of survivors – to be entrusted with these stories – was humbling and even frightening. We were confronted with both exposed emotional wounds and with signs of healing. We were invited to witness and engage in the messy yet essential work of reconciliation. The truth is messy; it's going to offend us Presbyterians. The process of speaking and hearing the truth in the upcoming Truth and Reconciliation Commission isn't going to be safe. The path is treacherous, but it is the right path, the path God has shown us when He forgave us through the cross. I had heard of what was wrong with our participation in residential schools before, but the gathering at the Forks was the first time I felt the weight of our sin. I saw how messy and difficult asking forgiveness for that sin is going to be. I also saw glimpses of a path to reconciliation on which many are already journeying.
