Thank you for your article, Breaking the Silence, February, about clergy and human weakness. Too many have carried emotional burdens, too heavy, for too long. My father tried lay ministry in northern Ontario over 50 years ago, when I was very young. With no guidance, and with unrecognized emotional issues going in to the position, he struggled, floundered and attempted suicide before his trial year reached an end. He carried this “secret” deep inside ever since; never telling anyone—not his own family, not his siblings, nor any friend. I believe this isolation; his anger and his shame affected his whole life. He is in a nursing home now, 87 years old, struggling with dementia. To what extent his occasional violent outbursts relate back to these old issues is anyone’s guess. Ministers, priests, deacons, and all leaders of the church give so much to so many, but often at great cost.
Let’s leave the door open to listening to them; and to reaching out and offering a helping hand, counseling, or whatever else they might need. We are all only human. They need a shoulder at least as often as the rest of us. Maybe we can keep them from the depths of desperation that my father experienced.
I learned about Dad’s “secret” from Mom when I was 30, when I pressed for information; but Dad never spoke to me about it, even when I earnestly inquired. As I write this letter, I am breaking the silence for him, and for me. There is no shame in human weakness. There is no dishonour in being human. It is not wrong to need other people to carry your burdens with you. Isn’t that the point of Christian teaching?
