Another missions capsule — another yawn.
Why do they lengthen the service with those things?
Now they want my money to repair our church windows.
That I can understand. Broken windows — wasted heat.
That’s poor stewardship!
It’s a beautiful church building — best one around!
Too bad they keep messing up the walls
with those tragic pictures of needy people;
I almost choke on my fellowship goodies!
I don’t come here to be depressed!
I’ve an adopted foreign child somewhere, what’s her name?
I know her cheque comes out regularly.
I give money for asthma — cousin Dan, Passing the Cash
for the Salvation Army — I mean, they’re right in your face!
Chocolate bars from the kid down the street.
I always buy daffodils in April — my mother, you see.
And I give to the War Amps —
well, they send those little license things,
I’m never a person to take something for nothing!
Here comes the plate.
They’ve got us singing while they pass it.
Another ploy to loosen our purse strings, I suppose.
Ten per cent or more? Good grief!
What do they think I am, made of money?
Okay for those olden days guys,
when they were talking seeds and weeds,
Some spices from the gardens … I can’t go out on a limb.
What do you mean, Jesus did?
I have to think ahead, don’t I?
I mean, really, if I give it away,
Who’s going to look after me?
