October 26, 2002
Oh, the blessings of a church family! Harry stayed home, cuddled up in front of the fireplace but I went to church. It was so good to see everyone. I got so many warm hugs. (Harry has always been a “hugger,” handing out love and warm smiles to everyone.) Now I am a recipient and it means so much to feel this support.
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October 31, 2002
I made a peanut butter milkshake today for him and he recognized the flavor! Thank you Lord. I have been so concerned as he hasn’t wanted to eat anything. He also said he tasted the apple juice last night. He’s having some trouble with low blood sugar in the middle of the night but that should improve as he eats more.
Friends have called and dropped by. They have no idea how much their love and concern means to us. Sometimes we feel suffocated with this cancer. Their visits bring light and fresh air into our world.
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November 7, 2002
Harry actually had a soft boiled egg this morning. He’s down to 158 pounds and was 172 when he first went to the Cross Cancer Clinic but is looking good. I think things are normalizing. He is out today with a few friends. He plays cards at the legion once a week. It’s a man thing I guess. His good friend was recently hit by a car and is in hospital. (Harry and his friends are beginning to look like a bunch of battle worn soldiers.)
The church bazaar and pink elephant sales are coming up and I’m in the middle of it all. I am glad to be back where I belong.
P.S. The grandchildren miss us … they must have enjoyed all the cookies I made for them.
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November 11, 2002
We didn’t attend the Remembrance Day service (a first for us). It was too cold. Harry was freezing in church yesterday. There is no fat on his bones. His low weight scares me so I dragged him out to a fast food place and he actually enjoyed some of it. He says everything tastes like paper.
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November 15, 2002
Good news! Harry actually ate a regular supper last night. I am not sure if he tasted it but hopefully he will begin to put weight back on.
Today he had his first hair cut since his radiation treatment. He looks a little bald. He’s always had a wonderful dark head of hair and now looks a bit like a scalped rabbit.
I have to keep reminding him to close his mouth; because of the surgery, it gapes when it is open. I hate reminding him as I know how I hate being reminded to stand up straight, but I know he wants to look as well as he can.
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December 17, 2002
Harry is on antibiotics as he has laryngitis. I’d like to just keep him quiet for a few days but there is so much socializing at this time of the year and he does so love to talk.
He wants me to look at a duplex or condo. I’d love to have another five years in our house if we could manage it but already he is recognizing his limitations.
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December 26, 2002
Christmas was quiet … with no snow, which is a rarity in northern Alberta.
Harry is still talking longingly of going for a trip south. He loves golfing and playing cards. I love the beautiful desert and having friends over for coffee, but I’m very nervous about leaving the security of my family and friends, now that he has cancer. He is fearless and can’t see any problems … so we disagree. Not the best way to start the new year.
I made strudels and “kucken” today. (I try to cook his favorite German meals but I am not a cook and certainly not a German cook). He couldn’t taste either one. It is such a trial for a man who lived to eat. I just don’t know what to do next.
“Fear not,” scripture says but I am fearful and sometimes the answers are not there when I pray. Both of us are somewhat discouraged. Hope things change for the better in the new year.
