February 1, 2003
So much has happened the last little while … we have decided not to move. This location across from the lake is so lovely I just can’t give it up. We will manage somehow.
We attended the church’s healing service. It was not a full house but those there are deeply moved … Harry is quiet and I know he is wondering about what the future holds.
One of our friends has kidney cancer and another one has prostate cancer. It is like an epidemic.
We are leaving for Edmonton to see our doctor, by bus. I hate winter driving and was so upset by the idea I broke out into a rash. Harry finally realized how traumatized I was and relented.
Good news! We have finally sold our lot down south. We have had many days of relaxation and pleasure there but some things have ended for us. We loved it and it is hard to let go of things you love, but the timing was right.
Harry’s voice is very gruff and he is still choking. Hope all is okay at his checkup.
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Feb. 4, 2003
Home again. The doctor is pleased with the progress Harry has made. We will have a “swallowing check” booked later. Too bad we have to take another 500 km trip but it can’t be helped.
The bus trip down and back was okay. Harry had two movies to watch, so he was happy and I didn’t have that awful tension before we left.
Harry walked four rounds in the mall today. Hurrah!
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March 9, 2003
The swallowing test went well. No growths or cancer, just a weakness that exercise will help. We see cancer in every small symptom. It is like a dark cloud following us.
The return bus trip got a late start as a lady fell and hit her head. The ambulance was there immediately. It was all very upsetting. Seems like we can’t get away from hospitals and ambulances. Sometimes we walk a pretty fine line as both of us are so vulnerable.
Harry’s birthday is coming up and I have planned a surprise birthday party at the church after the service … he will read about it in the church announcements, in the bulletin. 70 years old. Wow!
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April 28, 2003
Everything is okay. Harry is a thin 150 pounds. He’s had a rash on his feet, underarms, etc. but the doctor says it is not serious. We are so conscious of every little problem.
He helped with yard work today but it was a bit much. We forget he is so frail, but things are getting back to normal.
We have been down to the bank to see a consultant and have settled our finances all in one place. It makes it easier for me. I have never handled that area before but Harry insists I learn. He feels a sense of satisfaction in knowing that we can carry on whatever is ahead.
We hope to take a trip to B.C. later. We have a school reunion this year. It’s nice to have some things to look forward to.
Those rashes Harry has have actually bled, and blood—especially his own—really upsets him. Every little bump or itch concerns both of us, but the doctor says not to worry so much.
Our lake out front of the house was so lovely this evening it nearly took my breath away. God constantly reminds me of His presence. He was so good to place us in this little house so many years ago, with our little bit of heaven just outside the door.
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May 4, 2003
It is over a year since Harry’s cancer diagnosis. Many things have changed and yet many things remain constant and give us the stability we need.
Certainly the church has been there offering us love and support and avenues for service. I’m helping with the building renovation committee and am still active in the choir.
Our two girls have been so supportive … monitoring their Dad’s health, concerned, sometimes very protective. Lyn has made a special effort to spend her holiday time here with us and Robin has us out to her place for dinners and coffee.
Daily, God sprinkles blessings on us … thank you Lord.
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July 19, 2003
Harry is still choking readily but it is getting better. He had to take in another notch on his belt so he is not getting any heavier.
We took a trip out to Kelowna. Travelling has been such a part of our life. How we love the open road. What a wonderful country we live in … it is so beautiful.
We are starting to make plans for our 50th anniversary in the fall. I need to lose a few pounds if I want to get into my wedding dress for the renewal of our vows at the church.
Harry’s face is still paralyzed on the right side and gives him a crooked smile. There is an obvious difference on that side of his neck too, but at his age it is not too noticeable.
Fifteen years ago we joined Forbes Presbyterian. How wise God was to lead us to this wonderful, caring church family.
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September 10, 2003
It is hard to believe it is almost a year since Harry started his radiation treatments. He is doing lots of walking and maintaining his weight. Even his diabetes is under control.
We have our ups and downs but things are better.
Our plans for our anniversary are going ahead, although I had one bad upset with someone outside of the family. It nearly put me over the edge as I was just getting over the flu. Sometimes I don’t think people understand how cancer affects the caregivers too. Harry knew I had had it and bought me some flowers.
I talked to God about it. He is such a good listener and I just handed the whole sorry mess over to Him. He sent me a small rainbow tonight … His promise never to forsake us.
I realize this has been a difficult year. A guess a few breakdowns along the way are normal.
