I open my black ringed binder where I have poured out my grief. The inside cover contains this message:
“It is not enough to read the words of others who have walked this path.
“Expressions of your heart are so personal. Each new heartbreak is a healing experience only you can have, and can only be expressed in your words, encompassing your grief.
“You may share these with others, but only those who have walked this path will understand fully what you have written.”
So I began … sometimes using metaphors to attempt to explain how I felt, for language is so limited. What does it mean to say one weeps … for some it is a gentle roll of tears down the cheeks, for others a torrent of tears.
And my feelings were all over the map … my thoughts settling here and there with no substance to them. Like shafts of light they permeated my darkness. Sometimes there was insight and I could feel God’s presence but often, especially that first year I was like a lost soul, crying in the wilderness.
For those who have been there you may see yourself reflected in some of the stories. For those who have yet to walk this road, you may understand better that the crying, confusion and the warm comfort of others, are a part of mourning and in all of it God is ever present.
