I sit quietly and gaze around at my little house … everything is exactly as I had planned it and it pleases me.
I always had a fetish about house plans, even when there was absolutely no chance to build one. Even today It is the one thing I always check first in the newspaper.
But it was always a house for two that I had in mind. It was to be a castle for the man I loved and I placed each wall hanging, each piece of furniture and of course the TV, where they would serve him best. I never intended to live in his castle alone.
But, my king no longer sits in his big easy chair, ordering cups of coffee and tea. The crossword puzzle books lay idle and the remote control rests in my hands now. I skip past the golf channel … it was on constantly those last few months. The sight of manicured greens, Tiger Woods or Mike Weir just makes my heart ache.
We had so much fun planning this house. For that one year we chased from one hardware store to another and forgot all about his cancer. We brought donuts and coffee to the builders and even sat out a terrible electrical storm inside its windowless but roofed interior.
It folds around me now … reminding me that this house was built to ensure I was safe, warm and comfortable.
So I sit alone and remember that all those house plans I looked at though the years have culminated in this home I now occupy … his last and loving gift to me.
