My best friend has just been put in long-term care. I remember how her and Harry cried the last time they saw each other at the hospital. I guess they knew the writing was on the wall. I was so blind about so many things and so busy being all things to all people. I should have taken a look at Matthew 13 and 15 where Jesus backs off from everything to evaluate what his objectives are. Perhaps I wouldn’t be sitting here trying to squeeze remembrances out of every word Harry said, every smile he smiled … they are so precious and I don’t want to forget a one … but I was so busy, busy keeping everything in line.
But there are blessings … grandson Mike and wife Kim have presented me with a great-grandson. I write in my journal…
“Some peace, some storms, some mourning, some joy,
Some hope for the future, in the birth of a boy.”
Welcome Toby to the family, how your great-grandpa would have loved to meet you.
My daughter reminds me that perhaps he has. God says he knew us before we were knit in our mother’s wombs. Such mystery … requiring so much faith.
So, that is the way life goes, some leave and some arrive.
I found Harry’s clothes brush the other day. I can still see him standing in front of me as I brushed his suit jacket shoulders and lapels, gave him a kiss and sent him off to work … memories that bring tears sliding down my cheeks.
My sleep patterns are beyond understanding. I have a friend and a relative that ran into sleeping pill addictions, which scares me a bit, so I lay there listening to the radio play programs from faraway places …and I eventually doze off.
My journals are full of heartache but I keep writing, writing. Like a potter with clay, I shape my stories and poems. I am still good for “something” and my heart warms and the sun begins to shine.
