Recently I sat with a friend who was dying. It was an awesome experience and one I will never forget.
Strangely enough I had sat with my husband exactly four years earlier and watched and waited while he slipped from this world into the next.
The nurses were more concerned about me than my friend. They were not sure if I could handle it if she died while I was in the room. She did die several hours later but while I was there I sang her into heaven.
Since the age of eight, when my first solo was in a church, I have been singing. I wish I could ask my mother how she put up with my constant breaking into song while doing my chores…it seemed as natural as breathing.
I sat by my friend’s bed and held her hand. We had been neighbours for years and I loved her like a sister. I’m afraid my voice quavered several times. It was hard not to get emotional and I did so want her to know I was there with her all the way. Finally I sang the Lord’s Prayer, made a small sign of a cross on her forehead, kissed her and again whispered that I loved her…then I walked out of the room.
What an absolute privilege it was to be there, to sit by this dear friend and say my goodbyes. At my age I am afraid there will be lots of goodbyes in the future.
In the eulogy, my friend’s daughter mentioned the mess the two of us invariably made making beet pickles each year and the noisy card games on Friday nights. She didn’t mention the time I found her mother in tears bravely trying to cope with a disease that was destroying her vision and refusing to let her paint…something she excelled at.
This month my great-grandchildren were here for a visit. One-and-a-half and two-and-a-half, they are all consuming and a delight. They have arrived in my life like a gift from God. Sometime down the road I will be a memory to them much as my friend is now a memory to me…to live in my heart and warm it each time I eat beet pickles or glance at one of the paintings she gave me.
Some leave, some arrive and in all this is God’s plan…we just have to graciously accept it.
