I stand at the back of the church and look at the faces I have loved for so many years. I will still love them, but no longer will I meet with them, laugh with them and sing with them every Thursday night. I have handed in my resignation to choir.
I started singing when I was very young and it seemed that the church choir was a natural place for me to end up. The first voice I remember is of my mother singing me to sleep. I sang to my children, grandchildren and now to my great grandchildren…little Toby’s rendition of “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” shows he has promise for the future too.
I had taken choir for granted…missing a few years when the children were small but back at it again once I had filled my Sunday school teaching commitment and my girls were gone.
What can be more fun than having a good friend share in harmony a song that you both love? It lifts the spirit. And I was the recipient of that experience for years and years.
One day I went through the whole Book of Praise and marked every song I knew and there were loads of them… now, the piano accompaniment is missing but the memories are still there. In my mind I still sing strong and true…but confess that is not always the case when I open my mouth.
Singing is hard work. It is much like doing push- ups…big big breath in, big breath out. The physical stamina I once had has flown. Life changes!
So, I handed in my resignation and now I sit in the congregation. It seems rather strange looking at the back of people’s heads. I know almost every face in the congregation and observed when one was missing.
I have claimed a tiny corner of my own (after all I am Presbyterian) but I am not altogether comfortable in my pew. I look up to the choir loft and see the place where I used to sit and feel a certain loss.
It is hard to say goodbye but I have wonderful memories of moments shared and of lifting my voice with these Christian friends as we sang beautiful songs and praised God together.
Life is full of losses…parents die, children grow up, friends move out of town, businesses fail, homes are sold and spouses pass away. I guess I will have to accept this loss gracefully but I find moments when I feel sorry for myself. Then I bow my head and give thanks I can still sing around the house and in the congregation, too. God is generous in his blessings.
