Naomi Inglis with Chifuliro at a centre for disabled children and adults in Blantyre, Malawi.
We were first appointed to Malawi in 1980. Our “first born,” as Malawians would say, was just a year old.
When Jocelyn was about three, we noticed she wasn’t eating much lunch each day but still seemed to be putting on weight. One day Patrick, who worked for us around the house, mentioned rather sheepishly that Jocelyn was having early lunch with his family every day. Seemed she preferred nsima (maize porridge), beans and cabbage to our soup and sandwiches. Actually, so did we after a while and we began to eat more Malawian – style food, especially at lunchtime.
Luke, our second, was born in Malawi. I will always remember the day of his birth. While Linda was in labour, the doctor on duty appeared. He was American, looked about 80, unshaven, wearing gumboots. He mentioned he had delivered over 7,000 babies in Africa but I was not impressed—until Luke decided to take a flip in the birth canal and this doctor expertly corrected the problem and Luke appeared safe and sound.
Luke grew up a very Malawian kid. Once when on furlough in Toronto we were in a fancy mall and Luke disappeared. We found him “relieving himself” (as Malawians would say) in the little pond in the middle of the mall where people were sitting having their coffee.
Naomi was born in Nanaimo, B.C., and her first time in Africa was in Lesotho where we were appointed in 1990. These were the last days of apartheid and Lesotho was on tenterhooks. We had to commute about 30 kilometres to the school in the capital, Maseru. One day, out of nowhere, an insurrection started over a minor incident in a shop; a foreign trader had a local woman beaten when her child, without her knowing, grabbed a cloth as she was leaving the store. This was an excuse for all manner of protest and the city became a mob scene. At the time, Naomi was in preschool and we couldn’t reach her. We spent a terrible day waiting and praying. Then we heard that the Americans had sent a bus into the war zone with marines disguised as local drivers, rescued the children and drove out with the children facedown on the floor of the bus.
At dusk, there was a tap on the gate where we were staying and Naomi walked in with her school bag, hoping there was something to eat. She has been a cool customer ever since.
Looking back over the years, we know there are risks involved in moving your children to places like Malawi or Lesotho, and there are obvious blessings. The risks are fairly apparent: disruption in school curricula, terminated friendships, starting in new schools often in mid – year. It is easier when the children are young, but in teenage years it becomes more difficult. The children become “third culture,” meaning they are rooted neither in Canada nor, in our case, Malawi. It gives them a unique perspective on life, but it has attendant risks. Will they ever feel at home?
And then there is church. For us as parents it was our calling and although services were lively and full of joy, most were also two to three hours long—or more like two to three days when you are a kid from Canada!
The benefits are also obvious: the world expands, friendships develop with children from all over the world, there are game parks to visit, roasted termites to eat. Jocelyn developed a deep compassion for children which led her into teaching, first in Nigeria, now in China. There is no doubt her “first born,” Niall, will be an international child. Luke developed deep friendships in Malawi and leaving for university in Canada was difficult. But he appreciates the amazing experiences he had and is turning his energies to writing. Watch for his first novel next year! And Naomi? She has an amazing Facebook page of contacts from all over the world: blessings from many years in an international school. She appreciates all she learned and experienced but she has also made a decision: Vancouver is home.
We spend hours each week missing Malawi, for it was our home for 17 years. Many of our best friends are there and they wonder why we left our second home. Living in Africa changes people. There were so many good things: full and lively churches, warm and loving people, good work to do, the sun setting over the distant hills, the calm and beauty of the African dusk and dawn. But there were so many difficult things: HIV/AIDS, numbing poverty, too much death, hospitals without drugs, schools without books, dreams of countless children dashed by lack of opportunity, the waste of human potential. Some days you want to sing; some days you want to curse. The world is not just, but it is God’s world and we have a part to play.
How do our children process all this? Over a lifetime! Would we do it all again? In a minute.
Related Article:
A Lasting Impression by Luke Inglis
