An Uncertain Future

Each General Assembly brings together both teaching and ruling elders to listen to God so that we may discuss the state of our church and make decisions that address today’s concerns and set a course for a brighter future. After this assembly, however, we went away divided and wondering whether God spoke to us at all. To paraphrase Henri Nouwen, leaders were upset that followers were not following; followers were discouraged that leaders were not leading. We tried to be leaders and followers at the same time and failed to be good at either.

What made us leave the assembly divided and without a clear direction at this pivotal moment in our history? Were major problems not as major as we thought they were? Were we in such a deep fear that we were immobilized? Were we in that proverbial situation where we argue about the cost of paper clips while we avoid dealing with a million – dollar project? Were we missing faith in our Lord?

Throughout discussions on various recommendations, many commissioners expressed their thoughts and solutions for the problems at hand. Yet, as the debate on the vision statement demonstrated, many were conflicted and at times frustrated about the direction that the discussion was heading. Why were we so fragmented?

The assembly had the undercurrent of an uncertain future. The continual decline of overall membership and financial resources, aging of the membership of many congregations, and related problems were clinging to commissioners like soggy clothes on an endlessly rainy day. Many recommendations reflected these oncoming troubles. There was also a general feeling that recommendations were only nibbling at the edges when the problem was at the core.

Ideally, our system of decision – making discourages one strong leader or a brilliant idea from dominating. Listening to everyone is neither a tactic to find fault in others’ ideas in order to advance one’s own view, nor a ploy to pretend to have given the opposition opportunities to speak before ramming recommendations through. Instead, listening to one another in our courts such as sessions, presbyteries and assembly is an attempt to listen to God’s still, small voice. Listening deeply to each other as if the other is from Christ is what we aim for. Often, however, in haste under enormous pressures, we offer answers to problems and express our seemingly well thought out solutions and reasons without patiently listening to Christ through each other. 

In the gymnasium of Wilfrid Laurier University, we tried to solve all those problems at once rather than listening to God’s still, small voice within us. With a massive train of troubles barrelling toward us, we filled discussions with our thoughts on how to get out of its way. These proposed solutions and opinions only added to the anxiety and fear. So many disparate and nuanced views made the tasks of decision – making more daunting. In speaking, commissioners became more convinced of their own views as they articulated their own questions and reasons without changing the minds of others. Instead of hearing God’s voice in and through each other, commissioners drowned in their own arguments. Then, we left Waterloo carrying the same concerns about the future that we brought with us. 

Sad, indeed! Yet, still praying optimistically that, in spite of us, the Holy Spirit will guide us to hear God’s still, small voice!