Yesterday in our Circle of Hope talking circle I asked a series of questions. It is a game that my teenagers have played spontaneously with their friends over the years. You lay out for people two choices and ask, ‘Would you rather…?’ and the person then makes a choice and tells why. For the youth, the choices of ‘would you rather….?’ run more along the lines of: Coke or Pepsi; Mumford and Sons or ACDC; or kiss a frog or go on a date with ___. In our circle version yesterday we made choices of: ‘would you rather have to confront a friend about something offensive about themselves, or give a speech in front of 1,000 people’? We asked, ‘Would you rather be a child again, or a teenager again?’
All of us make choices many times a day and the choices that we make reflect who we are, our fears and anxieties, our pleasures and joys and our past experiences and hopes for the future. A lot of our choices are as mundane as Coke or Pepsi; blue socks or white socks; chicken Caesar salad or a burger and fries. Some of our choices are more important such as: visit my friend in the hospital or go home and relax for the evening; report that honourarium on my taxes or just ‘forget’ about it; get up early to pray or sleep in another half hour. Then there are the ultimate choices that shape our lives and those around us: marry him or end the relationship; move to another place to take on a new job or stay where I am even though I’m not happy; face my addiction or continue denying I have a problem; take on that new ministry or stay on the sidelines at church.
The choices that are mundane, simple ones are usually the ones that have the least lasting impact on our lives. They are mainly decided by our preferences and personalities. As the choices become more significant, they still reflect who we are, but they also have more power to shape who we will become. The more often I choose to fudge on my taxes, the easier it becomes to justify ‘small’ dishonesties in other parts of our life. Every day I decide to skip my prayer time in favour of something more pleasurable, I drift a little further from the centre in my relationship with God. The choices about ultimate life issues not only affect who I may become, but also often the people around me if I choose to pack up my family and move across the country, or I refuse to come to terms with my addiction.
Jesus said that whoever is faithful with a little, can be trusted with much. I have quoted that to my kids over and over in the years they were growing up. The little daily choices lead us in how we will deal with the bigger choices. They move from reflecting who we are, to beginning to shape who we will become. God doesn’t force us to make one kind of choice over another. That is what free will is about. In grace God loves us even when what we would rather isn’t what God would rather, but when our choices are determined by our desire to please God and be more and more like Jesus in our character, then we are always the winner.
You may not be making choices each day between walking barefoot through a pit of snakes vs. jumping out of a plane with a parachute, but every day presents us with the question, ‘Would you rather…..?’ How will your answers shape who you become?
