An Emphasis on Grace

“There is another kind of justice,” said Archbishop Desmond Tutu, responding to the terrible atrocities of the apartheid era in South Africa. “Restorative justice. Whose chief purpose is not punitive, but, as its name implies, restorative. Healing.

It holds as central the essential humanity of the perpetrator. Of even the most gruesome atrocity, never giving up on anyone, believing in the essential goodness of all as created in the image of God. That even the worst of us still remains a child of God with the potential to become better, someone to be salvaged, to be rehabilitated, not to be ostracized, but ultimately to be reintegrated into the community.”

Restorative justice has its origins in centuries – old practices of the Aboriginal people of North America, the Maori of New Zealand, as well as people in parts of Africa. It is based on the belief that crime and wrongdoing cause a breach in relationships.

While there may be consequences for harm caused, the primary purpose of restorative justice is healing and restoring the relationships that have been damaged. This is the philosophy that guided the remarkable work that Tutu led with the Truth and Reconciliation Commission in South Africa. It is what underpinned the work of the Residential Schools Truth and Reconciliation Commission here in Canada. And it is what enabled Dona Cadman and Supriya Deas to find forgiveness, healing and friendship after a long, painful journey.

Dona Cadman’s son, Jesse was 16 years old when he was fatally stabbed by Supriya Deas’ son, Isaac while walking home from a bus stop in 1992 in Surrey, B.C. Isaac and his friends had been drinking and doing drugs, and when they saw Jesse they unleashed an unprovoked attack. Isaac pulled out a knife, stabbed Jesse, and left him to die on the side of the road. Isaac was arrested and convicted of second degree murder. Life would never be the same for the mothers of these two boys. Almost 20 years passed before they saw each other again, when Dona came to Isaac’s parole hearing. During the months leading up to that hearing, Dona and her daughter had begun to exchange letters with Isaac with the assistance of restorative justice facilitators. The daughter agreed to meet Isaac, and the videotaped healing conversation moved Dona so much that she came to Isaac’s parole hearing, and spoke on his behalf. Not only that, she was able to hug him and offer her forgiveness.

Consider also the unlikely relationship that developed between Margot Van Sluytman and Glen Flett, the man who murdered her father while he was working at a Hudson’s Bay store in Scarborough, Ont., in 1978. Glen had just robbed a Brinks guard when Margot’s father, Theodore tried to stop him. Glen shot and killed him, and served a life sentence for second degree murder. While in prison he became a Christian and set his life on a new course, committed to helping others. Glen felt terrible guilt for what he had done, and tried on several occasions to contact Margot’s family, but they had no interest in speaking with him.

Quite by accident, Margot came into contact with Flett’s wife, Sherry, and a series of email exchanges ensued between Glen and Margot, with Sherry as the intermediary. Margot asked whether Glen might want to offer an apology, to which Glen replied: “Dear Ms. Van Sluytman. I read your words and truthfully I am without words. For so long I have prayed for this moment. Every day I pray that somehow you and your family have been able to move on from the despicable thing I did. Every day I say I am sorry but it never seems enough. I don’t expect you to ever forgive me but I so hope that your wounds are healing … I would like you to know that I have put my whole heart into being a different man than I was.”

Even though 30 years had passed, Margot realized this event still weighed heavily on her. When she thought such a meeting would not cause further harm, she agreed to meet Glen in 2007. The two embraced, in tears, with Glen repeating, “I’m sorry,” to which Margot replied, “I know, I believe you.” Embracing the man that killed one’s father seems incomprehensible. Yet for Margot, that Glen understood that he had done tremendous harm, and was sorry for what he had done, mattered, and their improbable relationship offered an opportunity for healing the brokenness of both their lives.

The application of a restorative approach now extends far beyond the criminal justice system. In can be used in a wide variety of contexts through a broad set of informal and formal, reactive and proactive applications collectively known as restorative practice. From classrooms and schools, to workplaces and congregations, and even in the home, restorative practice is improving relationships and producing a multitude of positive effects.

When conflict arises and things go wrong, restorative practice offers a way to repair the harm that has been done without placing blame. It gives people an opportunity to reflect on how they have contributed to what has happened and the impact it has had on others, and to take responsibility for making things right.

Proactively it aims to build good relationships through the use of fair processes, firm, supportive leadership, and a way of talking together and making decisions that value, respect and include everyone involved. This sets the stage for stronger communities that are better able to handle future conflict and change.

In schools that have adopted restorative practice, results are impressive. Suspension and detention rates decrease, there is less classroom disruption, greater respect shown for teachers and students. Students feel safer, more confident and listened to, and academic performance improves. As a restorative practice facilitator, I have led conversations in classrooms at my children’s school and have been astonished by their impact. These conversations offer students a way to talk openly about concerns in their classroom and how they are impacted, to reflect on how their actions and words contribute to what’s happening, and to identify ways they will aim to make things better. These conversations help to build healthy relationships, and often end with heartfelt apologies, raised spirits, and a genuine commitment to strive for a better way of relating.

Restorative practice offers an innovative approach to common workplace challenges. For many years I have worked as an ethicist in a variety of health care contexts, working closely with leaders and staff to foster an ethical workplace, and I firmly believe that if anywhere needs restorative practice it is the workplace. In my experience, problems such as bullying, vandalism, theft, preferential treatment, unsafe working conditions, discipline and termination, dishonesty, disrespect, lack of fair processes and decisions, low morale and disengagement are frequently met with one of three responses: ignore it, deny it, or, blame and punish. We can do better. Indeed, I believe we are called to do better.

Blame and punishment, in particular, have the effect of instilling fear and shame, which shut people down and prevent them from talking. Often problems will escalate, and when people are afraid to talk about what’s going on, serious concerns get buried but rarely go away, and a culture can become toxic. This is detrimental to the people involved, and also to the organization as a whole. Conflict, error and change are inevitable, and if handled restoratively, can open up possibilities for a more positive way of relating, resulting in people feeling valued.

An increasing number of congregations are embracing a restorative approach to conflict and being in community together. Some churches in the Christian Reformed and Anglican traditions and other denominations, too are coming to adopt restorative practice as a way of life, and it is my hope that congregations in the Presbyterian Church in Canada will follow suit. In cases where a congregation has been deeply divided, where people have had a falling out, where trust has been lost, or where the actions of its minister or someone in the congregation has had a harmful impact, a facilitated restorative circle can lead to healing. There are examples of congregations overcoming very difficult circumstances they never thought they could work through, and moving forward to a healthier place through restorative practice.

Imagine, for example, that the minister of the church has stolen money, or that the clerk of session has been bad – mouthing members of the congregation, or a proposal to merge with another congregation is causing conflict. A restorative circle can be used to respond to these and other problems to bring people together safely to talk. In other cases, restorative practice can be used in intentional ways to help a call committee in its search for a new minister, to develop and support leadership, to conduct meetings, to make committee and congregational decisions, and build a healthy, inclusive community.

There will be times when restorative justice and practice are not appropriate responses to harm done, due perhaps to the nature of the harm, the potential for more harm, timing, readiness, or lack of desire to repair a broken relationship. This process must not be forced, and great care must be taken to prevent further harm.
If what people are looking for is retribution, they will not get it with a restorative approach. But if they are open to the possibilities for healing that restorative justice and practice offer, they may find blessings in unexpected ways.

When I consider its emphasis on healing broken relationships, the ways in which it values people and builds healthy communities, I am struck by how consistent restorative practice is with aspects of the Christian faith that resonate so deeply with me. The emphasis on love, mercy and forgiveness, the challenge to not judge others and to speak truth, to do justice, to care for those in need of healing, and to be reconciled with one another are all consistent with the grace and hope extended by the various applications of restorative practice. It is this grace, this commitment to recognize each person as having God – given worth, that makes restorative practice so valuable and that offers hope and healing where it seemed impossible.