The opening sentence to John Calvin’s Institutes of the Christian Religion lays out simple spiritual wisdom: “Nearly all the wisdom we possess, that is to say, true and sound wisdom, consists of two parts: the knowledge of God and of ourselves.”
Churches specialize in the first. We learn much about God through Sunday school and sermons, catechism and Bible studies. But without an appropriate self – awareness, a healthy knowledge of self, we miss out on a greater wisdom.
There is a spiritual practice working this intersection of knowledge of God and self, called the examen (or examen of consciousness). Ignatius made this practice famous, setting it as a cornerstone discipline in his spiritual exercises. It is rooted in the confidence that God is addressing us in all of life, in and through our deepest longings (what Ignatius called consolations and desolations).
Since we mostly live harried and hurried lives, pressed by multiple concerns and pushed in multiple directions, we easily miss noting God’s presence with us throughout the day. The examen trains us to pay attention to the ways God meets us throughout the day, sleuthing for the evidence in the special care of a friend or the joy we found in preparing a meal.
The practice of the examen is very simple. You ask yourself two questions: what today connected you to God, to life and to others? What today disconnected you from God, life and others? You are looking for those places in your day where you most came alive or felt drained of life, moments where you were filled with gratitude or curdled with ingratitude.
We need help becoming present and attentive to the reality of God and His love which is surrounding us, calling out to us all day long. As author Annie Dillard observes, “beauty and grace are performed whether or not we will or sense them. The least we can do is try to be there.” The examen is the practice of being there; awake to the God who meets us everywhere and always.
The examen gives two good gifts. One is that it cultivates a grateful heart. Gratitude, of course, is the most appropriate posture for a life marked by grace. Its opposite, ingratitude, is not only irritating but spiritually dangerous. Paul notes that a failure to give thanks is a form of idolatry (Romans 1:21 – 23), a refusal to trust God’s abundant goodness.
The examen also keeps us honest, naming the hard and difficult places in life. Since Adam and Eve, we have this fig leaf syndrome that compels us to cover our shame and hide. Yet even there, in those places of brokenness and sin, God is very present, with love and mercy. How much of God, how much of His healing forgiveness do we miss because we prefer to keep from Him in the shadows of our days?
So why don’t you give it a go? Take a few moments to become quiet, reminding yourself you are in God’s loving presence. Pray a simple prayer, asking the Holy Spirit to bring to mind all the ways God was present to you throughout the day. Then review the events of the day, simply scrolling through what happened. As you do, ask the two examen questions (see below). Then close with a prayerful conversation with God about your responses to those two questions.
The examen’s two questions are simple, with many variations to explore: For what today am I most grateful? For what today am I least grateful? These two questions can then morph into the following: Where today did I feel most alive? Where today did I feel drained of life? Where did I give and receive the most love today? Where did I withhold or close myself to love? Where today did I have the deepest sense of connection with God and others? Where today was I most disconnected from God and others?
It’s a practice you can do by yourself or with others. Our family has woven this practice into dinner table conversations, asking some version of, what was the best part of your day? Where did you feel really good? What was the hardest part of your day? When did you struggle or feel sad?
It’s a simple and beautiful practice for a group to gather around, ushering us beyond daily chit – chat towards
a deeper place where we unveil our true face.
About Phil Reinders
Rev. Phil Reinders is minister at Knox, Toronto, and author of Seeking God’s Face: Praying with the Bible Through the Year.