Did I?

Did I? I wonder, sit on the floor and truly admire my children?

Did I? As a parent, watch them play? Absorbing how their little fingers move, pick up a toy, put food in their mouth, and then hold a sippy cup and drink?

Did I? As I changed them, look at their chubby legs, cute bottom and their tiny toes? Look at how perfectly their legs move and how their belly wiggles when I blow bubbles on their tummy?

Did I? Smile and giggle along with them? Watch them be thrilled with themselves, with the task they are so proud of and clap my hands in praise?

Did I? As I rose their arms over their head, did I rub their soft little back, tickle under their arms? Observe how their body is joined together so magnificently?

Did I? Watch their sleep, seeing their breath come and go? Not able to take my eyes off such a peaceful, beautiful, heart warming sight.

Did I? Smell them from head to toe and think there is no smell like that of a baby?

Did I? Look into their trusting, loving, smiling eyes and face, and really see them?

As the years have passed and now I am a grandmother, I wonder, did I?

I hope so. I wasn’t the parent who did it all right or the one who did it all wrong. I was probably an “average Jo.” Now, as a grandmother, I want to do more, see more, laugh more, love them more. I don’t want to wonder, did I? Oh, how I pray that I can be all these things and will take time to do all these things.

Then I think of God, my father. Did He?

As I read my Bible, I find time and time again that He did and still does remember. A large lump wells in my throat. He remembers, from my baby toe to the gray hairs on my head. God was there when I was born, as I grew up, when I became a parent, and now as a grandma. I think I may see and feel as I am reflecting, how God feels about each of us.

He loves us unconditionally, like I love my grandchildren.

“But you, O Lord, are a companionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.” (Psalm 86:15)

I hope I had these same powerful feelings for my own children, but I wonder, did I?

I am human and I do forget. I thank God that He isn’t and that He won’t forget.

“Can a woman forget her nursing child, and not have compassion on the son of her womb? Surely they may forget. Yet I will not forget you. See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; your walls are continually before me.” (Isaiah 49:15 – 16)