Younger people may not have the same mind set, but many seniors feel that they owe the world some kind of justification for their existence that day.
Being a senior has some perks (I do get occasional discounts) but in most of us is that inbred feeling that you have to pay your way. But for many, that role is limited…children are gone, jobs are gone and often spouses are gone. Those particular roles filled our lives and one usually felt needed or maybe overwhelmed at times.
Things may change, but that sense of having to prove that you are still able and of value, is very much a part of what “we” are.
So today I am feeling emotionally satisfied. (Physically I am a wreck..my arms and shoulders aching)…for today I cleaned the oven! They were doing it on television and the hostess said she only used her oven once a month…(I could relate to that), so although my oven wasn’t really a mess, I tried the method they were showing…a baking soda paste and a wipe down twenty four hour later. I’ll tell you sometime how it turned out.
But what is this thing inside us that feels justification is necessary? “I am me, and I am worth having in this world…” I think that although children and spouses are gone from your home, you still want to feel useful. It’s kind of scary to be shoveled off as of no use to anyone. And sad to say, it happens far too often to older people.
Other cultures seem to maintain a far better relationship with their elderly relatives, but I think many of us have proven so often that we are independent and capable, that it is imprinted on the population. But alas, it is not always true.
One thing we do have going for us is the fellowships we build with our friends. My friend Mary supplied me with Kleenex and comfort as I grieved my husband’s loss. Now, I am supplying her with rides for groceries and support for upcoming surgery. Friends fill in a lot of the empty spaces in our lives. They are a gift from God.
Some day I may have to sit in my easy chair and just watch out the window or fix my eyes on the TV screen, but right now God is expecting me to carry on…and I will …but for the next ten minutes I think I’ll just take a break and rest…a hot chocolate and a cookie will no doubt bring back enough vitality to vacuum the rug next and I will again feel I have earned my keep.
