Surprised by Joy

Are you familiar with the concept of choosing a word of the year? The idea is to pick a word to focus on, meditate on and reflect on in daily life throughout the year. In January 2015, 
I chose the word joy.

At that time, when I was on the verge of moving to a new country and in the midst of countless life changes, joy was perhaps the word I was most seeking. I held tight to that word all year. When I doubted my husband’s and my decision to move to Canada with our two-year-old son and leave friends and family back home in Charlotte, North Carolina, I clung to the joy of taking a break from corporate America and focusing on motherhood. I sought joy in the little moments of life.

This word-of-the-year practice provided reflection on joy in a different way, but after eight months of the project, I couldn’t help but wonder if there was something more to it.

Late last August, we stumbled on one of the oldest churches in Toronto while ambling around the city on a mini exploration. The bells of St. James Cathedral chimed on that Saturday afternoon and my son was delighted. I was pulled in by the open doors.

With towering, ornate gothic ceilings and plentiful stained glass, St. James is beautiful. As my son took it all in, a smile spread over his face. His joy for exploration and adventure was incredible to witness. That is all that I ever hoped I could give him from this experience of moving to Canada. And right in the middle of that church, on a random Saturday, more than halfway through the year, it hit me like a ton of bricks—joy. The force of it took me by surprise.

This word of the year journey was not intended as an exercise in faith, just as our decision to move away from “home” wasn’t intended to be an exercise in faith. But God has a beautiful way of sending you a message when He really wants you to hear it. On that day, I got the message loud and clear.

The next day at church, wouldn’t you know it, joy was the topic of the sermon. And as we sang Hymn 474 in the Book of Praise, it was as if the words were written on my heart. A joyful surprise in the best way:

“The joy of God comes close.
Where faith encounters fears,

where heights and depths of life are found through smiles and tears.
The joy of God is here to stay,
embracing those who walk the Way;
the joy of God is here to stay.”

Months have passed. Life goes up and down; there are challenging days and long weeks parenting a toddler. Yet gratitude multiplies when I look at it through this lens.

For months my son has been asking me to say the Our Father during nightly prayers. On one particular night, instead of silently listening, he recited the prayer along with me. Tears welled in my eyes when I told him how proud I was of him. And he said something I’ll never forget: “My heart feels so happy; I love it when Mommy teaches me things.”

Again, joy, pure and simple, surprised me. I recognized that the challenges of parenting a toddler are also an exercise in faith. And my greatest endeavour as a parent will be to allow him to feel that joy, too.

Now that a new year has begun, 
I see that this word of the year challenge took me on a parallel journey of deepening my faith. As I look to 2016, which I’m sure will bring many new adventures, I will keep these lessons with me, and will better appreciate that at the intersection of some of life’s biggest challenges, there are moments of unparalleled joy. 
I can’t wait for the next surprise.