My father, Brian Molengraaf, died early on Monday, February 8. It was not entirely unexpected, but the swiftness of his death was surprising and unsettling. Dad had been in and out of hospital for a number of years and each time the doctors called to say he may not make it, he always bounced back.
This time he did not.
Dad was not a future planner, choosing instead to work things out when they came his way. As a result, no plans had been made for his funeral and so we had to make some quick decisions. One of the decisions made early in the week was to have the reception following the funeral at the funeral home itself, but we found out that the funeral home no longer offered that service. It was then decided to have the reception at the home of one of my nieces. She lives in southwestern Ontario with her husband and two young children. We spent the week going through Dad’s things and cleaning and sorting out his house, and at the same time taking time to talk to each other, share stories and grieve.
My wife, Barb joined us on the Thursday and we booked into a hotel that afternoon. In the evening we went to the visitation at the funeral home together with the rest of our extended family. At the visitation my sister expressed concern about having the reception at her daughter’s house. Her daughter (my niece) had a tough week and with two small children no longer was in a position to host the reception. Her house was a mess and there were many more people at the visitation than we had anticipated. So, being a Presbyterian minister, I promised I would find a place for the reception, believing that the local Presbyterian church would be able to accommodate us.
I called the church and later received a call back from the minister there who informed me with deep regret that due to church policy and insurance regulations they could not accommodate our request. We were considered an “outside group” according to their policy and insurance regulations, and as such, much more time would have been needed to allow us to have the reception at the church.
Upon returning to the hotel, I went to the front desk and asked the woman there if there was a meeting room we could book for the following day. The meeting rooms they had were either booked or far too small for a group of 50 or 60 people.
But then she said: “You can have the reception right here in our common area.”
“That would be wonderful,” I responded, “but we already have our own food and coffee coming from other businesses.”
“That is not a problem,” came the reply.
“Thank you so much,” I said, “you have no idea how much we appreciate this. What is the rate for using the common space?”
“It’s complimentary,” she replied.
In a word, I was astonished. Here I stood, a minister of the Presbyterian Church in Canada, a church of Jesus Christ who taught the incredible
importance of hospitality. The church could not give us hospitality due to policies and regulations, but here a business showed hospitality in abundance.
The next day, a different staff person was at the front desk. But like the woman the night before, she practiced hospitality to us all—all 60 of us. It so happened that February 12 was also my sister’s birthday, and the hotel sales manager went out to purchase a birthday cake and delivered it to us. We were surrounded by hospitality and kindness.
As a family we will be forever grateful to the astounding hospitality given to us as a gift. To the staff at that hotel: On that day and in that place you were community to us. You practiced love and hospitality in abundance. You were “church” to us in a way that the church could not be.
From all of us, thank you. We salute you! And God bless you.
About Marty Molengraaf
Rev. Marty Molengraaf is minister at Unionville Presbyterian in Unionville, Ont. This story was originally written as a thank-you note to hotel staff.