There is nothing that can take the hot air out of a writer’s ego, like reading another writer’s article that is excellent. You recognize immediately your own limitations of knowledge, ability and for a while you just back off and wonder what ever gave you the idea you could reach others with your words.
Enter Satan.
Wow does he ever love it when we get down on ourselves. I recently had a deep discussion with my grandson. I did not agree with an author he had quoted and told him so. He of course was respectful as always, disagreed somewhat, laughed at me, teased me and told me he loved me…oh, the charm…just like his grandpa.
But one thing led to another in my effort to make a point, and I have spent the last two hours on websites I have never seen before…some that are excellent and I will visit again. I wonder if that was God’s purpose in my earlier conversation with my grandson. Only He knows.
I think my house needs cleaning and airing. Not my physical house, my spiritual house. Oh sure, Max Lucado is great and my Bible is always there, along with my daily meditations (I just wrote medications…and it is that too), but sometimes you need to let the wind blow through your staid but sincere ideology and see what insights God still has for you. As a senior you tend to meet the same people, go to the same places and think the same thoughts. A spring cleaning doesn’t hurt a bit.
I find I have been “sweating the small stuff” recently. Family is always uppermost in my mind and there is the tendency to keep “mothering” long after mothering is needed in their lives. Bet there are lots of you out there that can relate to that. I have to keep reminding myself “what would I want my mother to do under the circumstances” often the answer is “nothing.”
It has taken me nine years to finally give up a whole host of responsibilities that I felt were essential to the welfare of our condo association, to the church choir and some of my commitments as an elder. Amazing, all are managing fine without my input…that does take the wind out of your sails. I actually missed two church services in a row last month. Got several concerned phone calls, but the church is still standing. Surprise!
And yet there is still a place for me. A child was missing…phone the prayer chain…prayers answered…thank you Lord. A friend was distressed…a hug was needed. A story should be shared, so I wrote it up. I will no doubt never write the three-syllable word essays you see in many highly prized websites, but with God’s grace I will continue to share with you my walk of faith and together we will glorify our God who loves us so deeply.
