It was a bright and cheery morning and we were all collected around the table of a much loved acquaintance…we had been doing this each Saturday morning for years. My friend has Parkinson’s and we try each week to bring her a bit of the past and the present in our remembrances and our togetherness.
I had just entered the room when an old friend gently pulled me aside and said “Pat, do you know Dr. P. died of a heart attack last night?”
The shock hit me like an earthquake and before I could utter a word I was sobbing on his shoulder. For nearly 30 years that doctor had been a part of my family, seeing my husband through his heart attack, diabetes and his death with cancer.
I haven’t cried like that since he died.
I managed to dry my tears, grab some coffee and visit for a bit and then I went home to mourn. And mourn I did. Then the awful truth surfaced…what would I do for a doctor, who would see me through the days to come? Doctors up north are in short supply and few of them were taking new patients. Suddenly the mourning had turned to anxiety for my own welfare.
I phoned my family sharing my mourning and my concerns and contacted an old and trusted friend who said, “Let’s pray about it.”
“Lord,” she started out saying… “We thank you for the life of Dr. P.” Wow! did that set me back on my heels. Of course, I suddenly realized… “In all things give thanks.” My anxiety and tears had put a waterfall in front of the scripture’s advice. So we did give thanks for the compassion and dedication of a man who had made such an impact on my life.
Slowly some of the grief and the anxiety faded, but not completely and I found myself the following day on the computer, getting uptight as I searched for a new doctor. I could feel a migraine coming on and then, gently, like a whisper in the wind a voice said, “The Lord will provide”…it is not exactly the kind of language I use every day so I felt that perhaps I should listen to it and accept its message.
I tend to worry things to death, yet this time I felt a deep peace. Two days later I mentioned my concern to a friend…she said she would speak to her doctor…just maybe she would accept me as a patient. And you know, she did!
God keeps proving his presence in my life…I just have to trust him more and try not to run this whole world by myself.
