I’ve lost my stress list…you know that one that tells you how many points you get for each degree of stress.
But I knew I was well over the top…my computer had crashed, my TV receiver was not receiving and in making a point, with a friend, I had been a bit harsh and undiplomatic.
To add to all this, our Indian summer had disappeared overnight and it was snowing.
I was not my usual bubbly self at the mall coffee that morning. For that matter I wasn’t even on simmer…I was barely tepid.
How I regretted my quick, unthinking words to my friend.
God and I talked about it the night before, (I talked, He listened) but finally my conscience could not keep me awake any longer and I drifted off into a restless sleep.
With a heavy heart I hauled myself out of bed. I seldom miss my Monday morning mall coffee with my friends, and I headed out there.
To punish myself and ease my guilty conscience, I did not use my “handicapped” tag and parked instead ten cars away from the mall mntrance. My hip discomfort would remind me what a rotten person I was.
I also decided to take my morning coffee without sugar. Yuk! No way… you can carry remorse just so far.
I joined in some of the conversation then looked up. The object of my remorse was three shops down the mall.
“Be right back,” I advised, and headed towards her.
“I need a hug!” I sorrowfully requested. “I am so sorry about what I said. You know I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Tears were glistening in my eyes.
What a warm hug I got back and lots of “Not to worry, I never gave it another thought.”
Sniffling, I let her go and with a wave headed back to my friends.
It was then I realized that my feet were not touching the floor. The guilt that had smothered me was gone. I felt weightless. I was the most extraordinary feeling.
I wondered how many times in the past I had packed guilt around, dragging it behind me when a small chat with God about forgiveness would have made my load so much lighter.
No doubt my future includes a few more “faux pas” but it’s good to know that God will accept my remorse, give me a hug and visit on me again the lightness of forgiveness.
