“We are career starters, we are young adults, we are university graduates, newly married couples and future-oriented individuals. We are motivated, dedicated and passionate. And there does not seem to be a place for us in our churches … Young adults often feel dismissed—whether that be the intention or not—at least for a few years, until we have aged sufficiently to be taken seriously, or until we have children in the Sunday school and have a ‘right’ to speak to church issues. We find ourselves feeling frustrated, voiceless and oftentimes ignored.”
Four years ago Patricia and Ryan Browne contributed these words to the Presbyterian Record. Three years ago I personally approached this void. Leaving high school and entering university, I faced a gap in my church and the slow loss of many of my friends from Sunday morning.
Without my parents to drive me, I quickly lost interest in getting up to attend morning services. I was too busy with school or too behind on sleep to make the time.
I was also faced with feelings of great doubt, not necessarily in my faith but in a church where my social values did not seem in line with the church’s practices. If I am willing to criticize companies for their choices, why was I happy to accept things that are supposed to be more important and provide me with much more than a chicken burger?
Yet at the same time my faith in the system was bolstered by those around me: ministers, elders and friends fighting for change in the church and the world. Although my doubts were far from dispelled, I was given the opportunity to fight for myself.
Attending General Assembly as a Young Adult Representative in 2011, I met young people with thoughts and hopes like mine. I even had the chance to share these thoughts with others through this magazine.
Through the actions of those fighters in the church, I made it through the void. I may not be unscathed and I may not always wake up for Sunday worship, but I see a future for myself and my own seat in the pews.
However, this is not true of all millennials in today’s church. Many of the friends I made at church and at church camp no longer attend church in any of its forms.
Knowing I came into the game with better resources and connections than many, I decided to ask some of these friends why they chose to leave. Here are some of their stories:
“I define myself as more of a spiritual person now. I’ve studied the church in many different eras and I see corruption, even today. I believe in God and Jesus … I couldn’t feel them in my soul when I was at church. I had to leave the building to be able to feel their presence. To me, that meant something was terribly wrong at the church. I felt like screaming out and telling them that they were choking my faith. I tried, and when I realized that the words I was saying were bouncing off, I decided to leave.”
“When I was younger, the only religion I knew about was Christianity because that was how I was raised. Since then, I have taken an interest in learning about other religions … What I truly find fascinating is the connection that so many religions have. And that is love. What has pulled me away from Christianity is the confusion of knowing which religion is ‘right’ and which religion is ‘wrong’ … In order to believe you had to begin from a point of believing. So, for someone such as myself whose faith was faltering, what did I have to fall back on?”
Three years ago I approached the void. Though I made it through, I’ve lost many friends along the way.
At this year’s Canada Youth approximately 500 young people met to worship, play and grow in faith. I wonder how many of them will still be there in three more years.
