We arrived on time for our meeting.
Dressed in ‘casual Friday’ attire, we each wore the appropriate professional veneer. We exchanged the normal greetings of “Hello” and “How are you?”
Each of us said that we were fine and feeling well.
Some of us were not being transparent.
We hadn’t known how to get out of bed that morning. We didn’t want to face our peers and let them see our tear stained face but it was neither the time nor the place to let our feelings show.
Somewhere between the first and second course, one of us, I’m not really sure which of us, asked, “Are your children home from university yet?”
Each of us smiled as we told what our children were doing. Between us, we had 5 children in the university age group.
Then I said, I’m sure it was me and not my husband, “We can hardly wait for our older two to arrive home for the holidays but it is always that way. As soon as they arrive, the stress begins and we start counting down the days till they leave!”
Everyone laughed politely.
My husband and I shared that when our older two come home for the holidays, they begin to assert their new found independence in the form of breaking long held house rules; of food eaten in their bedrooms, curfews not honoured, dishes left on the coffee table and not placed in the dishwasher and plates reheated in the microwave, uncovered by wax paper.
Apparently growing up means you don’t have to follow rules, especially your parents’ rules.
We’ve even bumped into parents we haven’t seen since long ago hockey and figure skating days and they too echo our words. We are thinking of starting a support group for all our friends who feel this way!
“We still love our children but…..” and I left the sentence unfinished.
And that’s all it took for the barrier of politeness to break.
The other dad at the table laughed amiably. He said that his family got along well because they were a blended family and had worked at keeping their relationship.
The other women at the table didn’t laugh so easily. I’ve been there so I knew exactly what she would say next.
Her eyes welled up and she began to shake as she tried valiantly to suppress her tears. She lost the battle.
Sometimes being honest has this effect.
She went on to share the crisis currently taking place in her home–of a strain between parents and a child who is living contrary to how she was raised.
Why do we tell each other intimate details of our birthing experience, breast feeding and potty training but when our children reach adolescence, we clam up?
That day our professional meeting took on another agenda.
Living in relationship with Jesus has this effect!
Our conversation turned oh so intimate as we spoke of rules and consequences and the comfort and hope we have as adult children of the Most High.
We shared how my husband has taken to praying for our older children in the form of Canada’s national anthem. In the anthem, we sing “God keep our land….” Dan now sings/prays, “God keep our children” and he really means God keep them as in they are Yours, God, not ours!
For this child I prayed,
and the Lord has granted me my petition
that I made to him.
Therefore I have lent him to the Lord.
As long as he lives, he is lent to the Lord.
1 Samuel 1:27, 28
They were never ours, were they? Whether at infant baptism or dedication, those little ones were given to our God. They are His to keep, His to lead and guide and ultimately, His to discipline.
Sometimes we need to be transparent with one another in order help each other. Sometimes, we need to be stripped bare like Jesus in order to comfort:
So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love,
any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy,
complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love,
being in full accord and of one mind. Let each of you look
not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,
who,though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God
a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form
of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found
in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient
to the point of death, even death on a cross.
Philippians 2: 1, 2, 4-8
The God of the universe laid it ALL aside to come to us in human flesh, Emmanuel, in order that we might be comforted by His presence, His example and His intercession.
How I long to follow His example!
Every blessing,
Kelly
