Retirement conjures up a variety of desires for many people… the longed for fulfillment of dreams, a letting go of responsibilities, or maybe just a lake-side cottage.
Perhaps we who have retired get a taste of these things, but as long as we are still here there will always be responsibility for some of the things that were the earlier part of our lives.
My children are now grandparents and no longer need my $20.00 bills tucked into their luggage for their trip home. I find their concern for me heartwarming but I still get a bit testy when I start feeling “managed”. One phoned me the other day to remind me to pay my taxes. She was surprised to learn I had been paying them on a monthly basis for years.
I guess I am in a package marked “Mother” and although they recognize me when they see me, they see what they want to…certainly not the person my friends see…and I am afraid that I was much the same at their age. History tends to repeat itself.
So I play their game. They do care and I am so thankful but as they are independent, so am I. I have had a bad year, health wise and they were concerned, but now I want to get back to living in the real world. I’ve sat so much in my armchair, I feel like I’ve been rolled into a ball. I am not ready to be put on the shelf yet.
It is an interesting time of life…you’ve let go of a lot of unimportant things…yesterday I did my gardening in a pair of sweats that have seen better days. They are smeared with paint and I call them my “designer sweats”. There is a comfort in sitting or kneeling in the grass beside my flowers in this carefree attire. I run out on my deck in my housecoat…my neighbour is going by…who cares what I look like…I share a good morning and ask how her ill husband is doing…we part with a smile on our faces.
Last evening I was about to close up the house when something said “just go for a walk up the street a short ways”. I never walk outside in the late evening but I couldn’t resist this urge I had. A minute or two later I noticed a condo garage door open…It was after ten p.m. but I phoned them…it is an open invitation for anyone with bad intentions. They were out at their farm and made arrangements for a sister to come by and lock up the place. They thanked me as there was some expensive tools in the garage that they would not want to lose. I guess if God can move mountains then He can get me out of the comfort of my chair to stroll down the street in the late evening. Mind you, up north there is still enough daylight to read by at eleven p.m. so I felt quite safe.
For many years I was an active community Volunteer . Like David I had served my own generation (Acts 13:36). Now here in my adult condos my life is a little different but I believe in some ways God still has plans for me before He calls me home.
