In two weeks’ time, I’ve got a lovely assignment. I’ve been asked to say grace before the meal at the wedding of two dear friends. I should say that these are some of my oldest friends and yes, we worked at camp together. So…
I think I would be perfectly within my rights to launch into Johnny Appleseed. No?
Perhaps not. Rain on a wedding day and all that.
I’ll think of something else.
At home, we usually take turns saying grace before meals. These prayers are spontaneous and scattered. We thank God for some of the food on our plates, some of the beauty we saw in the day. We use patterns we’ve prayed before. We make it up as we go along. Sometimes our prayers are quite poetic (Beangirl) or blunt (Blue). I must say, sometimes my own graces can be quite blunt, too.
God, we’re tired tonight and grumpy. (long pause while I try and find uplifting words and then don’t.) Help us to be thankful. For everything. Amen.
The Spouse and I try to use our table prayers as a moment when our children can see something of the intersection between our faith and our family life. We use simple words to describe our feelings and speak of quieting our hearts and talking to God. It’s a way of opening up a time of sharing as a family around the table. I hope it’s a time when the kids catch a glimpse of their parents’ hopes and struggles, too. How much the kids are aware of this, I don’t know, but somewhere, I trust, the seeds are being planted.
A friend who had the burden of clergy parents complained to me once back when we were teenagers that his dad often used grace as an opportunity to preach at his kids. Funny how often I remember that.
Recently, Plum has been sitting quietly during our prayers, wide eyes looking at his silent family (yes, I peek) then joining in loudly with a gleeful squawk at the communal Amen.That joyful yes of a so-be-it! Plum crows which makes us all laugh and then he laughs, too.
I kind of hope that he does that at the wedding.
I wonder what kind of preparation to do for this praying. For church dinners, I usually make up prayers on the spot. There are times and places when I have found written graces useful but searching for graces to used at weddings seems to bear little useful fruit.
For sumptuous food and tender roast,
For the invitation from our gracious host;
For [bride’s name] whom [bridegroom’s name] loves the most;
Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost. Amen
Oh dear.
I’d love to speak words that are beautiful and meaningful and somehow add to all the other prayers and blessings of the day. I’d love for my words to be able to honour and strengthen the love my friends are pledging, blessing them for the years ahead. But prayers are not spells and, anyway, I’ve been asked to do something different.
It’s my job to offer thanks.
What better job? To celebrate the good gifts of God. To let joy be spoken aloud. To pause for just a moment as we gather at the table and to say yes to all the goodness that God provides. Amen!
