When we told someone that we were celebrating our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary, they looked at us in awe and asked, “To each other?”
Don’t let anyone fool you: wedding planning is easy but marriage is hard work!
It’s no secret that the divorce rate keeps rising and it’s no secret that the divorce rate of those within the church is also rising.
Once I thought that if I committed myself to God and submitted to God’s will then I would find Mr. Right.
When God brought Mr. Right into my life, I thought, indeed I was taught, that if we committed ourselves to God and submitted to each other, then we would fulfill our vows of ‘for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health, till death do us part’.
But life is not about ifs and thens.
So on this occasion of our twenty-fifth, why are so many of our peers and friends, separated, divorced and or remarried? They did the same thing, said the same words before God at their marriage ceremony.
There is no secret to a happy marriage. If I had the answer, I would gladly give it away to our hurting world.
Maybe, just maybe, instead of a secret, there is a mindset that we all need to adopt:
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit,
but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.
Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,
who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality
with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself,
by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.
And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient
to the point of death, even death on a cross. Philippians 2:3-8
God calls us to have the servant mind of Christ. Some of us have this mind while others of us need to work harder!
Our spiritual life is a practice and we do all that we can to stay in connection with God and then give God room to work in us. And the beautiful secret here is, that even if we don’t keep in connection with God, God pursues us, wanting to be in relationship with us. We need to be mindful of the still, quiet voice wooing us.
However, there are no guarantees that our marriages will last and if we find ourselves on the rocky shore of a failed marriage, the other principle we need to remember is that God has not failed or forgotten us:
…for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.
I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound.
In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret
of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.
I can do all things through him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:11-13
Two weeks ago, while worshiping at Our Lady of Fatima Catholic Church in Ochos Rios, Jamaica, the priest asked anyone celebrating an anniversary to come forward. We obeyed. He then asked us to turn and face each other and hold hands while he prayed the most eloquent prayer of blessing over us. We were moved to tears.
