That last summer of my husband Harry’s life here on earth he had sat in his big, easy chair looking over the lawn, the driveway and “his” tree.
He had never taken an interest in the garden in his life so I was amazed that he noticed the tree but he did and actually remarked on its changing colours as it turned from green to reddish and then began to lose its leaves. So for me, it has always been Harry’s tree.
The weather has been beastly lately…hot, hot, hot; so the venetian blinds have been closed and what happens outside is hid from view. That’s why I was startled when I opened the front door and noticed Harry’s tree.
For a few years it has looked much like myself, droopy, disheveled and dried right out of hope. The west wind side wasn’t so bad with the branches reaching up to the sky, but the east side limbs just hung there, drooping over the lawn.
I’ve had a few days like that…droopy days when it’s been hard to pick myself up…when the car needs new tires, the dishwasher quits or I can’t find my last bank statement. I looked and felt just like the east side of the tree.
But the tree seemed to have two personalities. The west side showed spirit and seemed to reflect those good days I have. Those good days when I have let go of worries about the future and placed myself in God’s hands. Widowhood is such a mixture of emotions and each day varies just like the weather.
But today when I opened up the front door I suddenly realized that Harry’s tree had a brand new look. It had been trimmed and wow, it looked good.
I checked and yes, I could see the marks where several branches had been taken away and there were some leaves strewn on the lawn.
It sort of reflected some of the things that had happened in my own life. I had initially been clinging to things that no longer really mattered. The castle I had kept for my king didn’t need to be perfect anymore. The meals his mother used to cook and I had never quite mastered are a thing of the past and if I can’t sleep, I no longer creep into the living room to read…I just turn on the bedside radio. These things have been trimmed off of my life.
Yes, there is still grief…nearly every day…a movie, a book, a special piece of jewelry he gave me…all reminders of what once was…but things are changing. God is changing me much the like the landscapers have changed the tree…they trimmed off the parts no longer needed and got it back to something like it once was.
I hope God is doing that in my life. I have been given these extra years to be used for His glory, according to His plan and to that I know Harry would say “Amen.”
Photo: By Chadtreeexperts (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0], via Wikimedia Commons
