The memories of years gone by are not always good ones. As the smallest student in the class I was the last one chosen for the baseball team, or the soccer team or any team activity. (But I could run like the wind and do great cart-wheels.)
There is a learning experience to that kind of rejection and one that can even haunt you as you get older.
An incident yesterday took me way, way back. I saw someone in a Supermarket that obviously was uncomfortable at having run into me. She was not happy with a decision I made about twenty-five years ago and it sticks out all over her when we bump into each other.
Her less than cheerful greeting hurt for a minute and then as she faded into the other grocery customers I started to smile. Jesus had stood where I stood. Rejected!
It is a humbling experience but as time goes by I become more aware of how our attitudes affect our tone of voice, our posture and our very words. You may think you are covering up those nasty feelings but believe me you are not. People are a lot more perceptive than you think.
It doesn’t really hurt as much as it did when I was twelve. I’ve grown up. Life has dealt me some blows but I have gained a lot more confidence and a lot more Faith…it has truly sustained me.
At twenty I worked in an office where the Mail Clerk decided he could harass me…not physically, but with sarcasm that obviously made him feel like the cat’s meow but made me feel like a numbskull. (Did you know that sarcasm is a form of bullying?) I was moved up in the office a month or two later and he remained as the Mail Clerk. Being mean never got him anywhere.
I believe that being kind reflects the love of God more than anything else. At that matter it was what attracted me to my husband.
I think we probably unknowingly hurt people, but doing it on purpose is a terrible sin in my books. But it happens sometimes. Recently I asked my daughter to visit for a week and she booked off for three weeks. When I said I hadn’t meant for her to take all her holidays to see me she was a bit offended. She thought that I meant that I didn’t want to see her. What I meant was I felt selfish is taking all of her holiday time. Oh dear…well, I did manage to get that straightened out later. I guess I made her feel rejected.
So, we all make mistakes without realizing it…but I pray I’m not knowingly being unkind…that would grieve God’s Spirit and would certainly grieve mine.
