Sheila Conkey, daughter of Frank, a retired Presbyterian minister, and the late Agnes, a diaconal minister, was born in 1957 and knows more about the Presbyterian Church in Canada — through ministers, members and adherents — than the average Presbyterian. Sheila has lived in congregations in Cape Breton, Scarborough, Pickering Village and Ajax, Ont., where her father was minister. With her parents she has also visited many congregations around the country, with dad as special speaker, visiting friends and making new ones. Her numerous adopted aunts and uncles are mostly church people, part of Sheila's vast extended family, crossing not only Canada but into the United States and over to Britain.
Sheila is a seasoned traveler, visiting Ireland on seven occasions and getting to know her Irish relatives on Frank's side, as well as to Agnes' family in Kenora, Ont. She has been to the Summer Institute at Princeton Theological College twice, even being enrolled. She met the president Dr. Jack Cooper when her parents took summer courses at Princeton for study leave. Retired now, Cooper admits to using some of Sheila's thoughts when taking services at a retirement centre. At Princeton she took turns attending lectures with one parent or another. After a lecture by noted Canadian Anglican writer-theologian Herbert O'Driscoll Sheila told him that he should speak more slowly so that her Dad would "get it better". She met figure skater Kurt Browning at the opening of a sports' store in Pickering, Ont., and now considers him her pen pal. She has followed his career and they correspond intermittently. She prizes a teddy bear he once sent her. Never a shy one she wrote to Queen Elizabeth 11 expressing her sympathy on the death of the Queen Mother and received a reply from the Queen's lady-in-waiting.
Sheila's ability is more amazing because after she was born, her parents were told that she would live only three or four years, that she would never go to school and might not walk. They were advised to consider an institution immediately. Little Sheila Maureen went home, weighing four pounds, 13 ounces.
Described by her father as "an uninhibited follower of Christ and herald of the gospel all her life," Sheila's faith is exuberant. She shares it unselfconsciously with people she meets, inviting a new friend with a problem with, "Let's pray about it right now." After the death of a young friend's grandfather, Sheila had a prayer in her room and together they sang Jesus Loves Me.
Sheila's faith is at times deeply profound despite the fact that she is developmentally challenged. Proudly Frank recalls the time when Sheila was admitted into communion in 1971 at the age of 14. When Agnes and Sheila brought snacks
to the class on their last evening, Sheila joined their discussion. She told them that if they were ready to become full communicant members of the church, "You have to open your hearts to receive Jesus." Astounded, the class agreed and Sheila then became a communicant member.
Despite the challenges Sheila faces, she doesn't see herself as handicapped and the Conkeys have raised her as they would any child, to be articulate, self sufficient and productive. It is a twenty-four hour, seven-day a week routine that is accepted cheerfully. Helping others is something Sheila does naturally whether it is writing a few words of encouragement or donating to a cause. Sheila collects pennies, rolls them and takes them
to the bank. When she has thirty dollars Sheila writes a cheque to either of several charities, including the Hospital for Sick Children, the Alzheimer Society, and the AIDS Committee of Durham. Once she prayed, "Lord Jesus, I'll make this short and sweet. I feel so badly about people with leprosy. They need your love and your healing power." Again she said, "People die of AIDS, you know. It is one of my jobs to help them." After donating to Sick Kids she wanted a tour to see where her money was going.
Sheila swam for Heart and Stroke and bowled for the Canadian Bible Society. She has an adopted sister, Ndari, in Indonesia through World Vision. Proudly she displays her photo on her picture wall. (There Sheila is pictured with Kurt Browning and the late actor John Ritter, among others.) Sheila knits pneumonia vests for babies and young children overseas, a project of the Life and Mission Agency of the PCC.
Sheila supports some animal charities, having a special affinity for whales and dolphins. On her wall is a picture of the whale from the movie 'Free Willy.' She dreams of becoming a marine biologist so that she can save the lives of these mammals and be a spokesperson against their heartless killing.
Sheila also dreams of being a writer — "like John Boy Walton." Sheila has kept a journal most of her life, filling book after book with the events of her days, her thoughts and her prayers. Since we began this article she calls me her "editor" and together she and I are working on a book that will bring the rich wealth in this material together.
Although both Frank and Agnes modestly take little credit for Sheila's accomplishments, their love and attention has obviously been a large factor in helping Sheila reach her full potential. Agnes recalled how she learned to talk by repeating nursery rhymes with them. "We knew she related them to life one day when she was three years old. I couldn't understand what she wanted when she kept backing into me," Agnes said. "In exasperation Sheila pointed to her 'falling down' leotards and said, "London bridges…"
Sheila is "very proud of my parents for raising me to be a Christian lady. My parents raised me right. I have faith in God, and I trust God. I love God, and he loves me. He will never hurt me."
Sheila has definite opinions about boyfriends. "Who needs them if you trust God? God is the man for me. God is all I need. I had a boyfriend once. Now I'm married to Christ."
Sheila and I first met in the early 80s when Agnes was active in the WMS. Then after I moved to Ajax in 2000 Frank asked me to pour tea at a party to celebrate the 50 anniversary of Agnes becoming a deaconess. One of the special speakers recognizing Agnes' contribution through the years was Sheila. She spoke humbly yet confidently, praising her mother and father, and thanking God for giving her such good parents. Asked once how she managed to take part so calmly in public events, Sheila quipped, "Just think positive, pretend the people have all gone home."
On her birthday Sheila once exclaimed, "A star is born!"
"Are you bragging, Sheila?" she was asked.
"No," she replied, "I'm just an ordinary star."
