The first question is why Celine Dion was on the Larry King show at all. Presumably Larry's team of producers did not sit around all day discussing who would be the most astute commentator on the New Orleans disaster, settling not on a state governor or a Nobel laureate engineer but on a singer from Quebec.
Surely the initiative came from Celine's people. Which raises the question of why on earth the lady who gave us show tunes from the sinking of the Titanic really thought that we wanted to hear her opinions of the search and rescue policies of the United States government.
That she cried and shouted and became so visibly upset was embarrassing to some, energizing to others. But what it really came down to is best described as the Oprah Syndrome. Celine Dione is not in any way a bad woman but she believes that as a celebrity she has an automatic right, even a responsibility and a duty, to express her feelings about a public tragedy.
The Oprah Syndrome and an Oprah moment. I feel something and I am famous, thus it has to be important. Just as a movie star's baby is the first baby ever born, a singer's romance the first and greatest romance ever, the fashion model's struggle with disease the first and most difficult struggle with disease ever.
Just to make sure that we knew we were dealing with genuine goodness here, Celine then told us that she had given $1million to the cause but that, naturally, this wasn't in the least bit important. Then why did you make this act of altruism known?
And nobody does an Oprah moment better than, well Oprah. Hardly had Celine taken a breath than Oprah, Sean Penn and their friends were posing for the cameras as they hugged people in New Orleans. No mention of the fact that the assembled bodyguards and television crews actually disrupted the rescue operation.
As for Celine, she was particularly unwise to criticize the Bush government's failure to master logistics and deliver aid to New Orleans earlier than it did. Unwise because she was the only person at the Live 8 concert in Ontario who was not there in person. Her people could not master the logistics of flying her private jet from Las Vegas.
At the end of her performance for caring Larry and the caring Larry watchers she sang. Perfectly. The tears stopped and the voice took over. Too planned, too contrived, too Celine and Larry. Too awful.
The best people I have known have done their crying in private and perform their acts of charity behind the scenes and often in complete anonymity. Nor do they sing for the suffering when, frankly, singing is not really what is required and comes across as being just a little crass and exploitative.
As a culture we have come to revere feelings rather than thought. We weep for people we see on television whom we have never met but cannot name the person who lives three doors away and have no idea of their pain, needs and fears.
It's the same sensibilities behind the mass pilgrimages to spots where people have been murdered. The entire event is a happening, something that gives us a sense of meaning and inclusion. We have vicariously felt the flame of fame.
The recent scenes of entire crowds of people weeping on the anniversary of the death of Princess Diana says it all really. One almost expected Celine Dion to step forward and sing a ballad in the woman's memory.
Not cynical but realistic. We're drinking neuroses from buckets offered by pop singers and television hosts. The fact is that human suffering in the developing world, human misery in our own inner-cities, social injustice and the abuse of wealth and privilege have to be criticised most of all by Christians. Celebrities such as Bono do this with wit, gravity and balance.
Not Celine Dion. Not this time. For me she joins President Bush, the Governor of Lousiana, the Mayor of New Orleans and many others who let down the least fortunate of the American people.
