In an aging church, who is caring for the aged?

Greta loves to garden, take pictures of her grandchildren and dance in her living room. A church-going woman all her life, she is a widow, and loves any opportunity to help others. She is 70 years old and a retired school teacher who travelled the world during summer vacations. Her growing congregation is always in need of volunteers, but Greta has only been asked to bake her famous lemon pound cake for Sunday coffee time and knit blankets for the church's mission project in Malawi. She wants to do something where her talents and knowledge would truly be put to use, but is hesitant to ask, believing the younger folk don't need an old biddy like her.
At 80 years old, Walter often lies in bed, trying to remember Sunday service. If he closes his eyes, he can still smell the coffee brewing in the church kitchen, see the gleam of the mahogany pews and hear the heavenly choir. But with each passing day, the memories grow more distant, the details foggy and dim. Confined to a nursing home, Walter's Alzheimer's is progressing. His wife has to remind him of her name when she visits and he doesn't understand why the middle-aged man who's there every Saturday gets teary-eyed when he doesn't know who he is. What confuses Walter the most is a lack of contact with the congregation. An elder for 25 years, he never missed a session meeting. Involved so intimately for so long, he never receives a visit from the minister and receives only sporadic phone calls from the pastoral care team. He feels forgotten and alone, comforted only by his Bible and the hymns he plays on his record player.
The Presbyterian Church is aging. In 1999, 47 per cent of the church's membership was 55 and older, with 33 per cent above age 65. Looking ahead to 2010, a growing number of those will be 75 and older, according to the report of the General Assembly-appointed study group on membership decline.

Because of these numbers, many congregations are looking for ways to attract youth, young couples and families to ensure the longevity of the denomination. But because of this endeavour, are seniors — healthy and involved as well as aging and confined — being lost in the frantic search for the fountain of youth?
Moderator Jean Morris thinks the church can do better. She chose seniors' issues as one of her moderatorial themes, believing older adults have an integral and meaningful role to play and have numerous pastoral care issues that the church should consider. "It's a symptom of our society. We don't like to talk about aging. We want to be youthful and vital, and that's reflected in our church," she said in an interview with the Record. "The reality is that we're an aging population, and to exclude seniors within the vision of the church is a total denial of who we are in the PCC and in Canadian society — and we need not be afraid of that. As people who are to be inclusive, we can't shut our eyes to some."
Morris' perception that the church is forgetting its seniors may not be far from the mark. Jim Czegledi, associate secretary for evangelism and church growth, wouldn't say this is the case, but did acknowledge that congregations often do — and should — attempt to reach out to youth. As they do this, however, Czegledi said congregations have to remember how seniors fit into the mix. "The older generation is pivotal in being hospitable to new and younger people, and in welcoming them to the church," he said. "They are also spiritual role models and mentors. They can provide a model of faith and service for younger members."
He said one of the biggest struggles for many congregations is figuring out a worship style that appeals to everyone. It is not unheard of for churches to drastically change their style in efforts to attract young blood, leaving seniors feeling alienated and forgotten. This is something that must be avoided, according to Czegledi. "It's not true to say that all younger people want contemporary worship and all older people want it to be traditional. Contemporary is a mindset and an attitude, and there are lots of seniors with that attitude."

One suggestion is to offer blended worship, incorporating both contemporary and traditional elements. Critics say this results in a watered-down worship style that is neither one nor the other, "but it's a place to start," said Czegledi.
Identifying the various groups in the congregation and providing worship that nurtures all of them is the main task. "So what's the church to do?" he asks. "It has to examine its mission and see how it can faithfully and fruitfully live out that mission."
Determining seniors' needs is becoming increasingly difficult and complex as those who fall under this umbrella are diverse in their needs and abilities. Ages can span 40 years, comprise three generations and have varying levels of health and lifestyle preferences. According to the annual report of the Bethany Care Society (a non-profit organization offering care to Alberta's seniors and where Morris is director of spirituality and pastoral care), these circumstances will continue as one-quarter of Canada's population is projected to be 65 years or older by 2030, and the already increasing 85-plus demographic will continue to grow. Statistics Canada estimates that by 2015 there will be more people over the age of 65 than under the age of 15.
When the residents at Bethany Care were asked for their top three spiritual needs, they listed belonging as number one, coping with the reality of dementia second, and grief and loss as their third concern. They also listed worship, small group reflection and visiting as important, which comes as no surprise to Morris because they are all indicators of belonging. Activities that aid belonging, says Morris, are "life-giving."

Residents whose congregations are attentive to them experience a higher quality of life and feel that God's presence is real in their lives, said Morris. "It's equally saddening to hear from someone, 'I was an elder for 35 years. I helped build the place. I don't even know if they know I'm alive.' That's the power of connection with a family of faith, and the power of absence."
Some churches are starting to find a balance. At First Presbyterian, Chatham, Ont., the congregation's pastoral care team regularly visits people in need. In addition to First's focus on youth and young families, the congregation is very much aware of the need to include seniors. "The two groups that are falling through the cracks at church are the very young and the very old," said Rev. Mike Maroney, explaining that kids and teens are often not ministered to at all and seniors are often unable to get to church or not accommodated once there. "A Christian community is a family throughout your life. The older generation has contributed so much and they need our love, our company and our interest."
Since piling all the visitations onto Maroney was too much for him to handle, the congregation made a focused effort last fall to pass much of this responsibility onto interested members. "It's very encouraging. People very gladly took on this ministry," said Maroney. "They love to visit and share their faith. You have to create leaders, give them a ministry and let it go."
The team visits nursing homes and individuals regularly and keeps detailed records of these visits. They send out cards on special occasions and they're currently figuring out how to bring communion to seniors' homes. The church's youth band, 24/Seven, is brainstorming on how to take its music ministry to these communities, and Maroney said one of the pastoral care team members now accompanies him on his hospital visits.

"It's just phenomenal. They all have gifts and they bring that to bear," he said. "I'm just thrilled and I thank God that people are stepping up."
Providing such validation and connection is important to every human's well-being, and becomes increasingly more so in old age. Dr. Gabor Maté is a Vancouver physician and author of When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress. He spoke at Bethany Care's Dreambuilder's Education conference in Calgary last October. He said that emotional isolation actually suppresses the immune system and that human connection and relationships are essential to well-being. Add a major stressor such as an injury or the death of a spouse, and the chances of getting ill increase. The National Post reported that for women aged 65 and older, psychological distress (which includes frequent feelings of sadness, worthlessness and hopelessness) are predictors of death. Providing meaningful involvement and spiritual connection for seniors can help stave off negative feelings, therefore increasing well-being and good health.
Rexdale Church in Toronto built and helps operate a seniors' home next door to the church building. It was the first of its kind in Toronto. Bonar-Parkdale, Toronto, runs a similar housing unit. Rexdale's building is named Highway Terraces and celebrated its 29th anniversary last November. The residence's 194 suites house mostly seniors who are still able to live independently. A support service provides minimal assistance such as cleaning, meal-making and visiting. Seventy-five of the residents pay full rent; the rest are subsidized, as affordable housing is one area of growing importance for seniors.
George King, 85 years old and clerk of session, said the project has been so successful that they're hoping to establish a nursing home for seniors who need long-term care. Rev. Daniel Cho, minister at Rexdale, said the residence is "enmeshed with the congregation, but distinct." He said many people who live at Highway Terraces come to Rexdale on Sunday mornings, and residents who are members of other churches also attend occasionally.

A seniors' club exists for the residents and they often use the church for different events and activities throughout the year. He said the congregation tries "to inject enthusiasm" into existing programs, and he regularly visits the residents. "We focus well on seniors' ministries and respect them and hold them in high regard," said Cho. "We are a diverse congregation in age and culture and we all get along well."
Nancy McDowall, administrator at Highway Terraces, has been there for 17 years. She sees faith as a comforting force in senior's lives. "They're more at peace," she said, noting that she sees differences in people when they are visited. "They're more comfortable at this stage of life with a spiritual reminder. They may have been away from church for many years, but finally are comforted."
Perhaps this service — this gift of comfort in final days — is one of the greatest gifts the church can give. "The spirit within us is made to connect with the spirit that is within others," said Morris, speaking at last year's Dreambuilder's Conference. "We care for their spirit in a particular way because endings are beginnings. We make them feel warm and loved and comforted."