The question of identity is difficult to answer. Who am I? Is this a question of “I” who has been, who is and who will be? Jesus is the same, yesterday, today and forever but unlike Jesus I am not the same. I change constantly. When I say, “I am a Canadian,” what do I mean by it? Somebody once asked me, “If a Korean and a Canadian compete in the Olympics, who would you cheer for?” I have to decide one or the other. Is identity a matter of my decision? In that case, if I am a Canadian, then I am not a Korean and vice versa. For people like me who have always lived with a hyphenated identity, this is a dilemma. Often I hear people say, “Go back to your country.” If you are not going to live like my kind of Canadian, go back to your country. But I don’t have a country to go back to. This is my country. This is where I live. This is where my children were born.
While watching the Winter Olympics in Vancouver, my daughter cheered when a Korean figure skater came out. Not only was she cheering for the Korean skater but she was feeling nervous for her, too. Why? My daughter was born in Canada and she doesn’t even speak the Korean language. Is she a Korean? Not in a strict sense. She was born and raised here and she has Canadian citizenship. She will say she is a Canadian. Does she have to negate her “Koreanness” to be a Canadian? She does not feel that she has to. She sees no problem in having both and being both.
Being “in-between” has been my identity. This is something that I never thought of when growing up in Korea. I was a Korean living among other Koreans. I was comfortable with my mono identity. But now, I am in-between. I am not torn in-between. In-betweenness has become comfortable for me. That is who I am. Do I have to make a decision of “either or?” Can’t I be “both and?” Is it being greedy? Jesus was both man and God. His “in-between” identity was the identity of our Saviour. In Jesus, in-between identity became integrated identity. St. Paul talked about our new identity in Christ in a similar fashion: “There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus.” (Galatians 3:28) In Christ, the dichotomy was overcome. What used to be mutually exclusive became inclusive. In Christ, the dividing wall has been broken down. Dividedness within us brings division in our relationship. Racism is not just a social problem but a spiritual one.
Identity is not something I decide or choose. Identity is not what other people give me. I am not bound and enslaved to my identity. No one can force me into one identity; no one can impose identity upon me. I am a minister but I am not just a minister. I am Asian but I am not just Asian. When I am around American Koreans, I become a Canadian. When I am around Canadian friends who have different ethnicity, I become Korean. Nominal identity cannot fix me into its name. Identity is not given to me but is being formed within me. Together we strengthen each other’s identity by challenging each other, supporting each other and struggling with each other. Han-Ca Presbytery is not an island. It is there to challenge each other, support each other and struggle with each other to enhance and enrich our identity. The traditions of the Highland Scots, Irish, Ghanaian, Chinese, Taiwanese or Korean, together form and build our identity. Trying to dominate each other is not the way to build identity. Just let them freely interact and work it out through struggles and debates, and see what comes out of it as a result.
