We continue to be on this series with the beautiful chapter of the Bible called “Love,” taken from 1 Corinthians 13. Verse 5 in this scripture says, “Love is not easily angered.” Anger is the most misunderstood emotion of all the feelings that we have as human beings. A lot of people think anger is always bad, but the problem is not anger itself. The thing is whether our temper is expressed appropriately or inappropriately. Managed anger is a good thing. It produces healthy relationships, so knowing how to put anger in its proper place is very important.

There are some interesting facts about temper… This morning, I want us to look at what God has to say about how we tame our temper. The Bible is very clear about this, particularly in the book of Proverbs. God gives us very specific principles on which we are to build the proper use of anger.

First, we need to resolve to manage it. What I mean by that is that we stop saying, “I cannot control it!” and start realizing that we can. We quit making excuses for our anger and realize that anger is a choice… Anger can be highly controllable. We can change when we want to change. The Bible says this in Proverbs 29:11, “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.” …We need to manage it in advance. Before we open the door to work or home, we decide, “Today, I am just not going to get angry.” That is one way we manage anger by resolving it. In other words, make a firm decision with the help of the Holy Spirit, in advance. We are going to make the choices, and we are going to work on it before it happens.

Second, we need to remember the cost. When we remember the cost of temper, we will be more motivated to manage it. The author of the Proverbs gives us a very specific explanation about the consequence of being anger. “A hot-tempered man… gets into all kinds of trouble” (Proverbs 29:22). Think about what we have said and done when we are upset toward someone or something… We could go on and on about the “all kinds.” When we get angry, once again, we can lose fifty percent of our IQ! We do things that we would never do – silly, stupid, embarrassing things – if we were not angry. Proverbs 11:29 says this: “The fool who provokes his family to anger and resentment will finally have nothing worthwhile left.” We always lose when we lose our temper…

Third, we need to reflect before reacting. In other words, think before we speak. Put our mind in gear before we put our mouth in gear. Anger control is largely a matter of mouth control. The Bible tells us. “It is foolish to respond impulsively to anything.” When something makes us mad, the Bible says: first resolve to manage it, then remember the cost of losing our temper and reflect before reacting. In other words, do not respond impetuously. We need some time before we respond. Proverbs 29:11 says, “A stupid man gives free reign to his anger; a wise man waits and lets it grow cool.” One of the greatest tools for anger management is delay. Just wait a minute… Delay is a great remedy to anger… During the time of holding on our quick judgment on someone or something, we can be more understanding people…

Fourth, we need to release our anger appropriately. As I stated before, there is a right way and there is a wrong way to express anger. There is an appropriate way and an inappropriate way to do it… Ephesians 4:26 “If you become angry, do not let your anger lead you into sin.” God says the way to deal with our anger is to confess it. We admit it first to ourselves: I am angry. And we admit it to God: “God, I am mad!” We talk to God about it. We confess not just the anger but the cause: “I am hurt! I am frustrated! I am scared! I feel this is out of control.” We admit the cause behind the anger. We confess it. That is how we deal effectively with anger.

Fifth, we need to re-pattern our mind. The Bible has a lot to teach about this. We rethink and change the way we think. The way we express our anger, we did not just get that overnight… One thing I have struggled within myself is whether ancestors’ influences, particularly bad ones, can be passed down to their descendants. The good news we can find in the Bible is we can break generational destructive behaviours and unlearn them. We do not have to stay those ways. We can learn new patterns. We can learn new habits… The Apostle Paul says in Romans 12:2, “Do not copy the behavior and customs of this world. But let God transform you into a new person by changing the way that you think.” Change the way we think… So we have to start by changing what we think…

Lastly, we need to rely on God’s help. This is not going to be solved by reading a self-help book or magazine or taking an anger management seminar. The real secret is God’s power to change you on the inside. One more time, the Apostle Paul encourages us to keep the following truth in mind: “Patience and encouragement come from God” (Romans 15:5). If we are close to Jesus Christ, we are going to have a lot of patience in our life… The Bible says, “The fruit of the Spirit is patience.” In other words when God’s Spirit is in us, He fills us with love and joy and peace and patience. The Bible also says this, “Whatever is in your heart determines what you will say.” We see the problem is not our tongue, it is our heart… King David says this in Psalm 51, “Create in me a clean heart, O God.” That is what we need to ask the Lord this morning: “God I need a clean heart. I need a heart transplant.” Jesus can replace a hurting heart and all that pain with a sense of His love…

* In this series of sermons, ’40 Days of Love,’ I have incorporated thoughts and materials from the sermons prepared by Rick Warren and his staff for this study.