I want to share the story of an interesting healing conference. When I attended this assembly, I first noticed a lot of plastic bats and mattresses in the hall. I did not understand why these things were there. At the beginning of the gathering, the host pastor explained the function of these materials. The conference was divided into two parts. The first section was designed for participants to have conversations with counselors. The other part of the conference involved hitting the mattress with the plastic bat after the counselling. The mattresses served as substitutions for those who had hurt the attendees. Before anyone was invited to strike the mattress, the counselors encouraged individuals to recall painful experiences from the past and to express their emotions freely. After these instructions, those who attended the healing event could choose to reveal their own anger towards someone who had damaged them. I observed various responses among the participants. Some were crying while sharing their stories, some were hitting the mattress with the plastic bats, some were stomping on the mattress, and some were shouting, cursing, and rebuking the mattress until they grew tired or lost their strength. At the end of the conference, everyone was invited to join in a communion service and reflect upon Jesus’ forgiveness.

There are four special cases regarding the people we encounter: Difficult people, Demanding people, Disappointing people, and Destructive people. These four types of individuals are present in our lives, and they will continue to be so throughout our journey. God wants us to learn how to love these people according to His will in our spiritual race. Today, I want us to draw our attention to the fourth case, known as Destructive people. Undoubtedly, this is the most challenging situation of all.

When people hurt us, we have two natural tendencies. The first reaction is remembering. The second response is retaliation; we want to get even. However, the Bible teaches us that “Love keeps no record of wrongs.” What does that mean? How should we respond to those who have harmed us in our lives? How do we handle all those wounds, those pains, and those hurts that we have accumulated in our memories?

Firstly, God wants us not to dwell on the past. He wants us to let go and release it from our memory bank. Forgive and move forward with our lives. Holding onto resentment only harms us. When we cling to past hurts and bitterness, we are not hurting the person from our past. Instead, we are only damaging ourselves. I have experienced moments where I was hurt by someone or something in the past. While sleeping, I often dreamed those incidents. Even in the dreams I was hurt again and again. I was sweating, crying out and woke up from the dream. Resentment only prolongs the suffering; it never resolves anything.

If we continually dwell on previous pain, we remain stuck in the past. However, as Paul encourages us, “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13, 14). God wants us to focus on the future and move forward. He desires us to direct our attention to His promises, embrace our God-given potential power and use it for the Glory of God.

The second aspect is that we should avoid repeatedly bringing up past mistakes during arguments. Proverbs 17:9 states, “Love forgets mistakes. Nagging about them parts the best of friends.” Dwelling on the past does not contribute to the improvement of our relationships because “Love keeps no record of wrongs.” Sometimes, I ask myself what would happen if God did not forget the things I have done wrong in my life. I can still remember numerous mistakes that deeply troubled me. They brought me down and even made me feel guilty even though I have been forgiven by the precious blood of Jesus Christ. Whenever these negative memories came to me, I shook my head and kept saying to myself, “Oh, I shouldn’t have done those things.”

Have you ever considered if God remembers every sin you have committed? There is a story about Heaven’s video camera. When we stand before God, He will inquire about how many times we have wronged others. If we claim to be without sin, God will broadcast the recordings to everyone on a large screen. It will be a profoundly shameful and even shocking experience for some. However, when we repent of our sins, the recordings are immediately erased. There is no record of wrongs in God’s forgiveness and love. The Psalmist proclaims, “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us” (Psalm 103:12). The Lord will not remember our wrongdoings when we repent. He will only remember the things we have done for Him and reward us accordingly.

The Bible teaches, “Whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him and let it go. Leave it behind. Let it go. This way, your Father in heaven will also forgive your own failings and shortcomings, letting them go” (Mark 11:25). Some may argue, “It’s been too long. I’ve carried this hurt for years and years. It’s just too late.” But the truth is, it is never too late. Proverbs 10:12 declares, “Hate stirs up trouble, but love forgives all offenses.” Which of these “all” offenses have we not released? Which offenses are we still holding onto in our lives?
When I think about forgiveness, I am always reminded of the story of Joseph in the Old Testament. Even after their father Jacob’s death, Joseph’s brothers feared that he might finally take revenge. However, he assured them of his complete forgiveness. He said, “Do not be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good, to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives” (Genesis 50:19-20). The reason Joseph was able to forgive his brothers and love them was that he viewed everything through the eyes of God.

During my life, I have encountered several instances where people have caused me pain. At the time of being hurt, I struggled to understand why it had happened to me and felt a sense of disappointment. However, the more I try to interpret these experiences with God’s providence, the more I realize that there is a purpose behind them. I have come to comprehend that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him and has prepared better things for me. Please understand that I am not suggesting that everything we face is God’s will. The truth is that God is in control of everything in life. If we desire to become the loving individuals God wants us to be, we need to address these past issues without delay.

Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, an American professor, once shared a story about Indian farmers and monkeys.

Following this message, we will be participating in communion. Communion serves as a symbol of letting go. It represents a new life and a fresh start.

As we conclude, let us reflect on the individuals who have caused us pain and choose to release them from their wrongdoing. Love lets go.

“Love keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:5).

*In this series of sermons titled “40 Days of Love,” I have incorporated some materials and ideas from the sermons prepared by Rick Warren and his staff for this study.